When we were born, we know nothing. Every second, every minute, every hour and every day since then, we are taught something new. Everything we know today, no matter how old we are, is something that we did NOT know when we were born.
When we’re young, we’re not quite sure of the world, so we all do what’s natural and learn by observing what goes on around us. We look at what people do and what they say. Eventually, we start hearing things about ourselves. That’s what drives our feelings and thoughts of who we are. These opinions coming from others get a healthy head start in our minds because we start off unsure what to think of ourselves. That’s where the brainwashing begins.
I don’t pretend to know anything, because nothing is absolute. However, I have a strong belief that this is why so many of us are brainwashed to believe the bad things that are said about us. Society has this natural desire to just be negative in as many aspects as possible. When we watch the news, what stories do we comment on the most? The negative ones. When we meet someone new, we’ll quickly and easily believe the bad things others say about them, but it takes a little more convincing to believe anything GOOD that’s said about those same people. When someone is accused of a crime and there is no evidence present, most of the time, we assume that the person is what? GUILTY as societally charged.
When it comes to opinions of ourselves, that is driven by others as well. When you’re a kid and your parent(s) get frustrated at you, they may say something like “You’ll never amount to anything!” or “What are you, stupid?!” and it stays forever. It could be something as simple as spilling a cup of water or getting a bad grade on a test. Then, that’s assuming it was only said ONCE. Most of the time, not only is it NOT said just one time, but a lot more and and a lot worse is said throughout a childhood. Once we are adults, then our minds are naturally there every time we do something wrong. Ever hear a person say, “I am just so STUPID!!” That’s because somewhere along the line (or unfortunately, MANY times), they were led to believe that something similar to whatever happened caused them to be referred to as “stupid,” whether it was their parents, society or anyone else.
I truly don’t believe any of the bad thoughts we have of ourselves are OUR OWN natural bad thoughts. They come from elsewhere. They HAVE to. You can’t say that you’re “too fat” unless somewhere or multiple times along the line, there was someone to compare you to who isn’t believed to be fat at all. Same as those of you who may feel that you’re “too ugly.” Without a “standard” of what pretty or cute is (as said from society), then you would have no idea what “ugly” was.
After so many years, these bad thoughts don’t feel like they’re “just something someone said.” We believe them the more they are said, whether there is any proof there or not. Since negativity is all around us, it’s hard to get away from. Years go by and again, we start believing it, since after all, it is ALL we hear.
Knowing this, how come we can’t at least ATTEMPT to begin to “brainwash” ourselves to thinking positive? Since these thoughts have never been permanent, we don’t need to treat them as though they are or written in stone. If you think you’re “ugly,” ask yourself: What exactly makes you “ugly”? If you think you’re “too fat,” ask yourself: Why are you “fat” and not just “overweight”? Someone is thinking, “They’re the same thing.” No…they aren’t the same thing. A person can be overweight and not society’s definition of “fat.”
Better yet, try and think back to when you had no idea what to think. Some of us have to think back further than others; I understand. 🙂 But remember when there was no one in the picture and you really had no idea what to think of yourself. Would you feel the same way you do today? Of course not.
My point is, if we can tell ourselves to believe the bad things others want to say about us, then how about we start forming OUR OWN opinions? Are you ugly because YOU think so, or because others say so? Are you fat because YOU think so or because of others? And be honest with yourself. REALLY honest.
It can’t feel good to say those bad things about yourself all the time. But remember…YOU’RE not the one who’s actually been saying them. Remember, it’s all about your own attitude. As a man who is 5’11”, I’m very tall when in a room full of short people. However, if I stepped onto a basketball court with professional players, I’d be the shortest person there. So there’s no need to feel that “tall” is the ONLY way I can or should be described. It’s the same with all the bad things being said. Just because someone says them doesn’t make it true, nor do you have to tell yourself that it is.
I know…if you hear it all the time, then it “must” be true, right? Just ask yourself this one question: How many times has society as a whole been wrong about something? Exactly.