I am NOT “Mr. Mom.” I am DAD. Period.
It should be offensive to anyone who calls himself a man to be called “Mr. Mom.” It surely offends me. However, it doesn’t offend me for the reason you may think. I’m not offended because women choose to call us this. I’m offended because of the fact that there are so many men out there who do so little that when it DOES happen, it can’t be that we’re doing our jobs as fathers. No…we’re called “Mr. Mom.” Men, I don’t blame the women. I blame US. That is OUR fault.
My wife and I are both in the Army and three months ago, she left for Korea. She will be there for another nine months. Whenever I tell people she’s gone and we have two children, along with the overdramatic looks on faces as if to say, “OH MY GOD! WHAT-EVER WILL YOU DO???” this is when I am called “Mr. Mom.”
Again, my frustration is not toward the women. Women say this because they are usually the ones who have to do everything when it comes to their children, so when a man is put in that position, even if it is for a matter of hours and even if the man WANTS to do it, it’s just so unusual. It really shouldn’t be.
I don’t feel I am doing anything special. I chose to have children with my wife, so this is part of my responsibility as a father. I don’t feel I should be praised for cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and raising the children. I like to eat, so what’s stopping me from cooking? I make messes, so what’s stopping me from cleaning? I have dirty clothes and I know how to run a washer, so what stops me from doing laundry? Last I checked, I’m half responsible for the fact that our two children are here, so what’s stopping me from doing my part to raise them?
Don’t get me wrong. I sincerely appreciate the praise. Anyone who knows me gets what I’m saying here. It’s not GETTING the praise that bothers me. It’s the fact that we as men often do so little that we have to be praised when it happens, simply because it seems so rare. The praise should be because we’re ALWAYS doing it, not because it’s hardly done by us.
We all know how things were back in the old days. The husband worked and the wife stayed at home with the kids. Those days are long gone, yet there seem to be men right now in 2013 who still believe in that “barefoot and pregnant” garbage. I think it’s a copout and an excuse, because WE as GROWN MEN know right from wrong. Even if it was learned from OUR fathers, most of us are old enough to know better. My father was sort of that way also, but I’m nowhere near that primitive way of thinking. It’s just not how we as men should be doing business.
Some women out there may think that BECAUSE my wife works, this is why I’m this way; because I have no choice, since she’s not sitting at home all day. Wrong. I know PLENTY of men out there who have wives who work and they still expect everything to be done because it’s “a woman’s job.” Again, wrong answer.
This is why men like me are called “Mr. Mom.” I love it and hate it at the same time.