Here Are 10 Things People Against Gay Marriage Need To Stop Saying…At Least If You Don’t Want To Sound Like An Idiot

Let’s get something straight. Gay marriage is going to happen. Period. It’s not a question of IF, but WHEN. And as a straight man, I couldn’t be happier, especially for my friends and for the many others out there who are gay. Your happiness isn’t hurting me or my family and for the most part, it’s none of my business.

To those of you who have a problem with it, yes, that’s your right. If you want to have the mindset of “Ewww,” even as a grown adult, then hey…more power to you. But remember that women were once not allowed to vote. Blacks were once not allowed to co-exist with whites. People back in those days were disgusted with the those things just as people are disgusted with gays today…and 2014, those things are allowed, just as gay marriage WILL be (even if it doesn’t happen in every state this year). They don’t need your permission.

For those of you who have a problem with it, that’s fine if you choose. However, number one, don’t claim that you “don’t care what people think about what you say.” Trust me…you do care. There’s not much point in saying it and/or being so passionate about it if you didn’t. Number two, if you want to avoid sounding like a complete idiot, here are ten things you need to quit saying, at least if you want anyone to take you seriously (which you DO):

1. “Ewww…that’s just nasty.” What’s nasty? People wanting to be treated equally? People who want to be happy? A person who is attracted to the same sex? What about that is nasty? Oh…you’re talking about what they do in the bedroom. Who told you to go and watch? And hell, it can get nasty when straight people do it too.

2. “The country is going straight to hell.” Because of gays wanting to get married? So, the crime, extreme poverty, questionable justice system, murders, bickering amongst the folks in the government, homelessness, starvation and too many more issues to name here isn’t the reason the country is going to hell…it’s gays wanting to get married. Yep, all those other things are just bad enough to push the country TO the edge. But gay marriage is the ONE thing that pushes it over. Makes sense to me.

3. “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” Wow. Did you come up with that all by yourself? Of course you didn’t. God also made a little something called the Ten Commandments. Do you follow all those too, or is that when you get into your spill about how it’s okay to “not be perfect”?

4. “People who are gay can’t naturally have children together.” A lot of straight couples can’t “naturally” have children together, either. That’s why there’s this thing called adoption.

5. “How will you explain that to the children?” The same way you would explain anything else in life to them…by opening your mouth. “Two people love each other and they want to be together. Many times it’s man and woman. Sometimes it’s man and man or woman and woman. What people choose to do in the bedroom is their business, not yours.” Not that freaking hard.

6. “I’m gonna make sure none of my children end up gay.” Give me a second…laughing too hard at this one…okay, I’m back. Good luck with that one, genius. People don’t “end up” gay. Many times they feel this way at a very young age, and trust me…parents have NO say in the matter. None. They may not show you that they’re gay as they’re growing up, but believe me, your delusional, self-proclaimed, “world class” parenting isn’t the reason for that. They’re hiding it from you because of that ignorant mindset of thinking that you can just “snap them out of it.”

7. “I’m gonna just pray for gay people.” While I’m a believer in God and I still understand that none of us knows for sure if He is real, one thing I have a good feeling of is that if you did “pray” for a gay person, considering how judgmental and immature you were most likely being about it, you’d have to answer a lot more to God in that case than a gay person would.

8. “Why are people being praised for announcing that they’re gay? If I announce that I’m straight, can I get praised too?” No you can’t, fool. And people who come out publicly (mostly celebrities) are praised because at this time in our history (as embarrassing as it is), this is a problem for many people and there are so many of who still judge gays in such a harsh manner that not everyone is comfortable admitting to it. So at this point, it’s VERY brave for a person to ignore that foolishness and come out publicly. Tired of it? You have yourselves to thank for it.

9. “Well, he/she LOOKS gay,” or “He/she doesn’t LOOK like they’re gay.” You’re probably the same ones who think that you can look at someone and tell that they have AIDS. NEWS FLASH: Not every woman who is single or has never been married at the age of 35+ is gay. Not every woman with a short haircut is gay. Just like every gay man doesn’t run around waving his arms like a fairy or is a hairdresser. Not every gay man drags out the pronunciation of his “S.” Seriously, these stereotypes are outdated, wrong, and just plain silly.

10. “I wish they wouldn’t show affection in public. I don’t want them shoving their sexuality down my throat.” What, did they come over, tap you on the shoulder and then proceed to make out right in front of you? Did they call you out by name and say, “Hey, watch this!”? Better yet, if you’re a straight person, have you ever kissed your spouse or significant other in public? Then shut up.

I actually thought of more as I did these, but I’ll spare you…for now. Besides, I can’t think of a better ending for a post like this than “shut up.”

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