So, You Don’t Think The Lives of Your Facebook Friends Are As “Perfect” As They Claim? Fix YOUR Life First


This is inspired by my friend and author P.S. Bartlett and a recent blog post ( The title speaks for itself and that’s as good of a title as any. To sum it up, she and I share the same viewpoints on those miserable folks on Facebook who think that people feel their lives are “perfect” just because they don’t sit around and cry about everything. Many of us choose to remain positive and somehow, that leads others to think that we’re declaring that our lives are “perfect” in some way.

Anyone with at least half an ounce of sense (which clearly is NOT everyone) knows that no one’s life is perfect. No one’s. We ALL have problems and issues that we have to deal with on a daily basis. It’s something that really should go without saying…

…and just because you THINK your struggles are worse than everyone else’s, that doesn’t other people don’t have their own struggles as well. Talking about it more doesn’t mean it happens more.

I don’t get bothered by people who say that another person’s life isn’t perfect. That’s the honest truth and we all know that it isn’t. The part that bothers me is that some folks just RELISH in this fact. They practically salivate over the thought that another person’s life isn’t perfect, even with no real proof. The only thing they have is that the person is talking about good things and some folks just hate to see others happy when they aren’t, so naturally, out of pitiful, spiteful jealousy, they assume and ANNOUNCE that the person’s life isn’t perfect.

What’s funny about that is if this person who’s normally positive posts something negative (out of the ordinary), those same jealous folks wouldn’t say the same things. See…in those cases, they’d be thrilled. They’d love it. “Yes! Their lives aren’t perfect!” as though it was ever said that it was. The bottom line is that some people are just so miserable in their own lives, or they simply aren’t as happy as they would like to be, and rather than fixing what’s wrong in theirs, they figure it makes more sense to go after others and assume that they “must be lying” about their lives, since it doesn’t appear as horrible. It’s as though the miserable person’s life is the gold standard on how other lives are to be measured up to. Get the f%@k out of here with that nonsense.

My friend also mentioned some of the things in her own life that others would view to not be as “perfect” as the positive aspects and while I agree with everything she wrote, I’m going a different way with it, and this is to those of you who love to assume that someone’s life isn’t as “perfect” as they claim it is.

I am NOT going to talk about the bad or the anything in my life that’s less than perfect just to make you feel better about your life. Not happening. Now if you want to assume, be my guest, but remember…you’re not owed an explanation. If you can’t wrap your little minds around the fact that choosing to focus on the positive doesn’t mean that a person is claiming to have a “perfect” life, then that’s your problem.

The main reason I say it’s pure jealousy is because again, we all know that no one has a perfect life. It’s not something that needs to be said. But oh…some of you sure like to say it, huh? Well, feel free to continue. Just remember that you’re only exposing yourselves as jealous and hateful, so don’t let me stop you in your quest to try and put me and others down who are like me. Don’t forget that we deal with negativity all the time, so your little “proclamations” that our lives aren’t perfect are laughable. We already reached that conclusion a long time ago.

It’s just like when people pitifully try to insult my marriage (mostly other blacks and I don’t care who that offends. I’m putting it out there and don’t need your permission). My wife happens to be white as I’m black (for those who don’t know me) and yes, in 2014, that’s still a problem to many. I’ve had blacks claim that I am “on the bandwagon,” I guess to mean that I’m on the white bandwagon, whatever the hell that means. Also, that I’m being laughed at by other whites (including my wife, Jill) for being married to her. So let me get this straight…Jill is going off and having secret meetings with other white people and they are laughing at me, right? Some people are so used to not thinking that they don’t even realize how dumb they sound when they say things. And there’s many others, but that’s a blog for another time.

On top of all that, we will have been married for 15 YEARS this coming July. While we’ve had our issues, we have a STRONG marriage. Unless you have close to that many years or more, chances are you simply won’t get it and I’m not wasting time explaining. When I say that I love my wife, it means that I love her. Period. When I talk about our two beautiful children, how much I love them and how I’m blessed to have each of them in my life, it’s because it’s the damn truth. Period. When I say that my wife is my best friend, it’s because she is. Period. I don’t need you to “believe” anything. That’s the funny part. I’m not on trial here. I know that people like to jump on Facebook and lie about this and that, but I don’t have to justify or explain myself to anyone, FAMILY INCLUDED. When I say it, I mean it, and if you have a problem with it, then you take yourself somewhere and handle that problem on your own. People these days seem to think they’re owed everything when in reality, as my mother once said to me, “People don’t owe you shit.” So for those of you who think that you’re going to really “hurt” me by trying to put down my marriage, keep this in mind: You are pebbles going up against a MOUNTAIN. Enough said.

Instead of worrying about how perfect or imperfect someone else’s life is, FIX YOUR OWN. That’s it. I’m not dealing with teenagers and I only have a handful of friends in their 20s. I am going to be 35 soon and most of my friends are either there, close to it or older, and these are the types of bullshit games they play. Get out of everyone else’s life and fix what you need to fix in your own. We know most people insult and put down what they are jealous of or what they don’t understand. Either you don’t understand the very simple concept that everyone’s life isn’t perfect or you’re jealous of the lives they have. If you want to be miserable and claim that your life and “struggles” are just so horrible, feel free and that is your right. But stop expecting everyone else to stop living because of where you are and stop assuming that everyone’s life somehow “matches” yours in some way. If you don’t even have it in you to get your own life to where you want it, what makes you think your opinions of ours will have ANY relevance whatsoever?

Oh that’s right. It doesn’t.

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