Before I get into the list, I’m black. Some of my friends and family may dispute that, but it doesn’t matter. Many will have a problem with me saying these things, but again, it doesn’t matter. That’s often the case when a black man or woman doesn’t run around yelling “Black Power” or behaving to that effect 24 hours a day. But enough small talk. On to the list:
1. We bring up slavery. Nobody alive today understands slavery. Nobody. So if you’re one of those who like to resort to that, stop. You don’t understand slavery and never could. The issues of today don’t come close to measuring up to how slaves lived, and it’s a slap in the face to our ancestors to use that in arguments. Just because we don’t get our way and whites happen to be involved does NOT mean we’re anything near slaves. Our ancestors fought hard so that we wouldn’t have to and while we still do have some fighting to do today, it’s nowhere near what they went through. Besides, many use it as an excuse and it needs to stop. Our ancestors dealt with much worse than we could EVER imagine and that made them fight harder than ever before. We deal with not even a fraction of what they went through and that makes most of us quit and make excuses? Tell me what kind of sense that makes. Don’t answer all at once. Way to make our ancestors proud. That’s the goal, correct?
2. We cry “racist” every time we don’t get our way. The dictionary defines “racist” as: 1) the belief that races have distinctive cultural characteristics determined by hereditary factors and that this endows some races with an intrinsic superiority over others, and 2)abusive or aggressive behavior toward members of another race on the basis of such a belief. So most of the things we cry “racist” about don’t even come close. Yet, anytime something happens, someone or MANY blacks do it. Let’s UNDERSTAND the definition first. Just because we don’t get our way and whites happen to be involved doesn’t make them all racist. Just because we’re on the news every day for crimes doesn’t make the news station(s) racist. Maybe we can, I don’t know…NOT COMMIT THE CRIMES if we don’t want to be on there? Just a thought. But the bottom line is that there are going to be things where a person who happens to be white will come out on top. Resorting to calling him or her “racist” is the coward’s way out. Also, I’ve seen that when some whites acknowledge that blacks commit the most crimes and are primarily the ones in jail, those folks are called “racist” also. Again…UNDERSTAND the definition. Stating facts, even those that don’t put us in the best light, isn’t racist. Say they AREN’T TRUE and then you may have something. If there ARE true, you don’t have a leg to stand on.
3. We raise hell when a white-on-black crime happens, but say nothing about black-on-black crime. Yep, I’m taking it to the Trayvon Martin – George Zimmerman incident. Now I’m not here to debate that most of the outrage was because Trayvon was black. I’m not asking, I’m TELLING; for the majority of those raising hell, that’s all it was about. End of story. Yet, EVERY SINGLE DAY, MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY, ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, black-on-black crime happens and we say nothing. Why’s that? Ashamed? Embarrassed? We should be. But pretending it doesn’t happen isn’t making it go away. We should be raising hell making Facebook posts left and right for black-on-black crime, but we don’t. Yet, let a story about a non-black on black crime happen and we’re all ready to riot, protest, rally, share this and that on Facebook and everything else. Black-on-black crime happens WAY more, so why no outrage there? The only thing that happens is that blacks just get mad and badmouth whoever mentions this. Getting mad doesn’t answer the question. It’s time to be adults. Why can’t we show the same outrage when we do this to each other? Wouldn’t that take us out a lot faster? Just using common sense here.
4. We use the “N” word. There is NEVER a good reason to say this. Never. The word was created to be derogatory toward whoever, but over the years, it became directed mainly toward blacks or minorities. Somewhere along the way, someone thought it was a good idea to use the word on each other. How does the definition change? Because we say it as though it ends in –a rather than –er? Isn’t that kind of how we say EVERYTHING? You fire a gun using what? The “trigga.” When something is not smaller, it’s what? “Bigga.” That bouncy character who hangs with Pooh Bear is who? “Tigga.” So it’s not as though we all got together and said, “Okay…we’re going to use this word as a term of endearment, but we can only use it on each other and we’re only allowed to say it as though it ends in –a.” Speaking of “term of endearment,” why are we the only ones allowed to say it? Can a white person NOT mean it as a term of endearment? Why not? Right…because they don’t get our “struggle,” “slavery,” blah blah blah. You go ahead and keep telling yourself that. A word that was created to be derogatory is now okay to use. If you have an issue with a white person saying it, then obviously you still have a problem with the word. The meaning doesn’t change just because we use it on each other.
5. Many have the “us against them” mentality. Our more recent ancestors fought hard to end segregation. Yet, what are many of us doing today? Segregating ourselves. The funny thing is that a lot of people like to boast about the civil right leaders from the old days, the ones who fought so hard for our equality and to end segregation just so we can continue it today in 2014. I think some of you weren’t paying attention. Yes, it may SOUND good and LOOK good that you’re their supporters, but when you’re doing the complete opposite of what they talked about, you haven’t learned anything.
6. We’re quick to insult other blacks by calling them “Uncle Tom,” “sellout,” and other childish terms. Ah…my favorite one. I’ll start this one by saying that I’ve been married for almost 15 years to a woman who happens to be white. So what do I know, right? Please. The saddest thing about this is that blacks embarrass themselves when they call us this. Trust me…it’s not embarrassing people like me at all, because now, three months away from turning 35, I just laugh, because I’ve been called that my whole life and it has meant nothing. But there is apparently a “code” of blackness that exists and if some of us don’t follow it to a tee, this is when we’re called these things. Having mostly white friends. Marrying someone who happens to be white. Speaking with intelligence by using full sentences and not slang most of the time. Having good credit (yes, really). Not being a deadbeat. Wearing clothes the PROPER way; covering our asses and not exposing them. THESE are the things that get us called these names. What’s saddest about this is that all this shows is that many blacks are so set in their unsuccessful and in some cases, ignorant ways that whenever other blacks come along who behave the way I do, it’s so unusual that the people of our community could behave in that way, so the knee-jerk response is to insult. That’s more of a reflection of those who use the terms more than the ones they’re used on. Because believe me; I sleep VERY well at night. I’m very happy in my marriage, I’m happy with where I am in life and it’s pretty damn nice to get a low interest rate when buying a car. I’ll take the “insults” all day when I get those results. And no…my “white” wife didn’t get me there. That’ll be the next thing.
7. We make excuses for our behavior rather than taking responsibility. This one is pretty self-explanatory, but then again, when you’re in denial, then of course this wouldn’t make sense, so let me break it down. When you’re wrong, you’re wrong. Period. Pretty much every time, we know right from wrong. THAT’S not in question. The question lies in why we do or don’t do whatever it is. At any rate, making excuses doesn’t make us look any better at all, especially when there is no question of right and wrong. When crimes are committed, those are the CHOICES we made. Nobody is “forced into it.” Nobody is “made” to commit theft, robbery, murder or anything else we like to make excuses for as though those were our absolute “only” choices. They weren’t. My mother was single and took care of four of us. We were VERY poor growing up and not once did she decide to commit crimes to keep a roof over our heads and feed us. We didn’t have the best things growing up, but Mom never sat in the back of a police car. So save the excuses for someone not smart enough to know better. Because I’m not one.
8. We put ourselves down more than any other race. This isn’t quite the same as #6. There are some blacks out there who don’t necessarily fall in the glorious “Uncle Tom” or “sellout” or “acting white” category who will still be badmouthed for achieving any level of success. Moving out of a bad neighborhood, getting a better job, a nice car/house; achieve any of those things and you’ll be put down. Not mainly by whites or other races, but by our own. I’ve never heard more people badmouth us than our own and it’s pathetic. Some like to call it being “real” or “keeping it 100,” but the truth is, you’re letting your ugly jealousy do all the talking for you. You don’t even have to brag about anything; just achieve the success and that’s it. It doesn’t even have to be something major. You’re just viewed as “high and mighty” if you do anything at all with your life. Apparently, you were supposed amount to nothing as those running their mouths have. But to beat ourselves up like this shows that we don’t at all even need someone else to put us down. We’re doing a good job of it on our own.
There’s many more I’m missing, but I’m going to assume this list won’t make me any new friends. That’s okay, because I’m not really looking. I know many won’t agree with this and for probably many of the reasons listed, but that’s the thing about disagreeing. Just because someone disagrees with this doesn’t make it wrong…and it ISN’t wrong. Take it or leave it. Take it for what it’s worth, take it with a grain of salt, badmouth me because of the race of the woman I married, call me this, call me that, ah…whatever makes you feel like an adult. Those are the typical reactions. The bottom line is that none of that hurts my feelings anymore. It’s been a long time since they had. It just proves my point…that again, we don’t need ANY other race out there to hurt us. We’re doing a great job of it on our own. So if need to see what’s wrong with blacks as a culture, the answer is a lot closer than you think. You may not want to hear that, but again, that doesn’t make it wrong. I don’t need anybody to agree with any of this. That’s the beauty of not being afraid to speak my mind, even if it doesn’t toe the line with what the rest of “my people” say.