There is NO ONE who beats me up more than I do myself. I also don’t beat anyone else up more than me. I am this way because I expect a lot of myself and when I fall short, it’s on me. Period.
HOWEVER…that’s me. Others, not so much. I’ve lost count as to how many times people spend pretty much ALL their time pointing out every flaw in others, but crawl into their little shells when it’s time to take a look at THEMSELVES in the mirror.
Back to me for a second. I’ve taught myself over the years to always look at MYSELF first in all situations; because that is the only person I have control over. ME.
Pointing the finger is easy, but it’s also lazy and way too typical. People see that something isn’t right and rather than acknowledging their involvement, they somehow put it on someone or even everyone else. It’s truly alarming as to how often people really do this and I can name a ton of examples, but let me just talk about personal flaws.
We ALL have them. Every last one of us. That’s not a question; that’s a statement. This isn’t up for discussion. What is a “flaw,” exactly? According to reference.com:
flaw: A defect, fault, or imperfection
Simple enough. Since these same people like to run around and say, “I’m not perfect!” that would mean they have…IMPERFECTIONS, right? So that falls under the definition of “flaw.” So again, we ALL have them.
Here’s the thing, though…THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. I’m not sure why there are so many people out there who look at flaws (that again, we ALL have) and treat them as though they are just the most shameful, disgraceful aspects of human existence. I was told as a child that nobody is perfect and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. Even though this fact is plain to see in just about everyone, people appear to be simply afraid to acknowledge that they have any. Even worse, some people, deep down, don’t believe they have any at all.
So what are believed to be some “flaws”? There are way too many to name here, but to stick with how I began, I will name of what I consider to be my own.
One flaw I have is that I care about people too much at times. Caring is never a bad thing, but I often don’t realize who is worthy of that and who isn’t.
Another flaw I have is that I spend too much time trying to talk sense into people. I don’t mean “my” sense, but I always encourage people to be cordial to each other and look at all sides of an argument, but many don’t listen. I’ve actually encouraged people to look at side I am NOT on. I never expect everyone to agree with me, but I do expect some level of common sense. However, again…that’s MY expectation and apparently, mine only.
I also tend to hold in what bothers me pretty often until I blow up at people. Blowing up doesn’t necessarily mean yelling, but there is a tone I use that isn’t pleasant. In listening to myself, my voice gets very deep and I am abnormally short with people as far as talking is concerned. This doesn’t mean that I’m always wrong, because often, it’s deserved, but it’s the holding in of the problem that falls on me.
See what I did there? I didn’t realize this at first, but even when I’m not wrong for the behavior of others, I still find a way to put it on me. When I started writing that, I didn’t even notice, but it wasn’t done on purpose to prove some kind of point. This is REALLY how I am.
The last flaw I’ll mention is that I’m very overprotective of my wife and two children. Many would say that’s not a bad thing and I don’t do it to the point of babying them, but I get REALLY bothered when someone mistreats any of them and I will not hesitate to dig into someone if this happens, even to the point of fighting them. I haven’t had to do that, but that’s where my mind goes. I don’t care how this makes me look to anyone. But I do feel that maybe sometimes, I can’t always be there to do this and I really shouldn’t.
As for the title, I see a LOT of people do this. Just sit around all day and point out EVERYTHING wrong with others. Let’s talk Facebook. These days, I’m only on there to make a post or two and to talk to my wife. Other than that, I have less and less of a desire to be on there and just look at all the nonsense from others. Anyway, people just sit there day in and day out sharing everything basically telling others how they are to act and behave, but every so often, those same ones will share something talking about people “not judging them.” Even having conversations with some of them, that’s what they love to say:
“I’m not perfect. I’m a work in progress.”
NOBODY is perfect. No one has to explain that part to me. That’s not my issue. The issue rests in why people seem to think it’s appropriate to put everyone else down for their flaws and these changes are supposed to happen YESTERDAY. Yet, everyone is supposed to just sit around, be patient and wait for YOU to come around and change this and that about yourself? How is that exactly fair?
I’ve posted this on Facebook more than once and it’s pretty much crickets every time. The ones who comment are mainly the ones who don’t do this. They’re the usual ones who comment on most of what I write and they’re probably my biggest supporters. Again, they’re not the problem. The ones who are quiet about it…most of them are. I don’t hear from them because as I said in the beginning, they can yap about what’s wrong with everyone else in the world, but can’t stop to look at themselves.
If you’re “not perfect” and “a work in progress,” what makes you think that other people are not? What entitles you to tell THEM to get THEIR acts together while you expect them to sit around and just accept you for who you are? What makes you special in that sense? I really don’t get the logic there. Maybe someone can explain it to me.
Then again, that would require some people to actually think. Expecting this to happen naturally is apparently yet ANOTHER flaw of mine.