MONTHLY BLOG POST: If You’re Extending Your Hand To Someone, Extend All Five Of Your Fingers Instead Of Just That First One

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I’m almost embarrassed to say that I know way too many people who represent the man on the bottom of this combined pic as opposed to the man at the top.  Even worse is that some people are actually proud of that.  What’s there to be proud of?  What are you REALLY doing?

I get it.  People laugh at others to feel better about themselves.  That’s ultimately what it is. People also laugh at others because they have friends who do the same and they need to fit in.  Been there and done that. Whatever the reason is, it’s about time we learned how to be that man at the top.

It’s really not that hard to extend your hand to help someone.  I’d be hard-pressed to find a single person who has NEVER needed help at one time or another.  Unless you are one of those people or came into the world as a fully-grown and functioning adult, then you are well-aware of what’s it’s like to need help from someone else.  We have ALL had the man on the top before at some point in our lives.  We’ve also had the man on the bottom.

I’ve dealt with people who have laughed at me or put me down way more than those who have helped me.  However, in knowing what it feels like to be laughed at and put down, I really would not wish that on anyone.  It’s not a great feeling.  It doesn’t bother me nearly as much now because I know what people like that represent, but it’s still pathetic to see so many grown adults still choose to be this man on the bottom.  These are grown adults who have been around the block a time or two.  You’ve seen both sides of it.

It’s sad that I cannot go an entire day without seeing someone laugh or make fun of someone else, yet I’ll go maybe two or three days before seeing someone help another person out.  The truth is, it’s really NOT that hard to extend your hand to someone.

It could be anything; holding a door open for someone.  Allowing someone in front of you in line at the store when you see they have less items than you.  Saying “Good morning” and actually MEANING it.  Asking someone “How are you today?” and actually waiting for their answer.  Looking someone in the eye when you say “Thank you.”  Forgiving a person who has done you wrong in some way.  Encouraging someone who is feeling discouraged.  The list goes on.

Laughing at someone else is easier because it doesn’t take much effort.  However, think back to your most embarrassing moment.  Don’t claim that you “didn’t care” that people laughed at you.  If you truly didn’t, then it wasn’t an embarrassment moment…choose something else.  Now when you come up with that, remember how that felt that people laughed at you?  Don’t think about that happening compared to where you are now.  Think of how you were BACK THEN.  In other words, it’s easy for me as a 35-year-old man to dismiss an embarrassing moment from my teens because it wouldn’t embarrass me today…but you have to remember how things were for you back at that time.

I would love to think that those moments alone would be enough to make people always want to help others, but not everyone thinks the way I do.  Honestly, it’s not even about thinking “the way I do.”  It’s about taking the time to be CONstructive rather than DEstructive.

On top of all this, when we need help, we would like for people to help us, correct?  Let’s say you’re carrying a stack of papers to your office and you drop them all.  Would you be mad if a person bent down to help you pick them up?  Probably not.  Let’s say you’re struggling to carry a heavy box to your car.  Would it annoy you if someone came along and said, “Hey, let me give you a hand”?  I doubt it.

Now you puff your chest out and say that you could “manage” those things on your own.  You could sit there long enough and pick up all the papers.  You could put the box on the ground and drag or shove it with your foot to your car.  That’s not the point.  Of course it’s not “impossible” to do a lot of things on your own, but I don’t know too many people who would be in tough situations like that and not want or accept help.

Yes, it’s easier to sit back and laugh at others since it requires no real effort.  But cowards take the easy way out, especially when it comes to helping others.  I’m sure none of us are so far removed from a time when we’ve needed help from someone else.  Whether you can “handle” someone laughing at you now, I guarantee that between them laughing at or helping you, all the toughness in the world would never have you say you’d rather them laugh at you.

Don’t be a coward.  Use your WHOLE hand to help someone else instead of just ONE finger to point and laugh.

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