…but I’ll try my best.
I am an Army journalist myself. I saw this story posted this morning and right away, it broke my heart. Yes, this unfortunately has happened quite often. However, I don’t know about you all, but I don’t become “numb” to deaths. I simply won’t allow myself to. No matter how often they happen or how much a similar story has been in the news, it just breaks my heart to hear about it each time. Someone decides he wants to end his own life, so he chooses to kill a number of innocent people on his way “out.” It’s just so incredibly sad. Even saying that is understating it.
So what makes this one any different than the others?
Well, again…I’m a journalist myself. It seems we’re a pretty small community, no matter what level of journalism you are on. Whether a civilian journalist, military, photo journalist, or what have you. There aren’t many of us out there. I want to be sure not to convey that these deaths mean more to me because of that. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
However, this one just hit me really hard.
Maybe I’m at that “enough is enough” stage. I don’t know. Hell, each time it happens, I think I’m already there. Maybe it’s because I saw the video online of it happening. Maybe because I feel like I’ve lost “one of our own.” Maybe it’s because once again, innocent lives have been taken WAY TOO FREAKING SOON.
And why? Because some disgruntled fool got fired for anger issues TWO YEARS AGO? He thought they were being “racist” toward him?
So why in the hell did Alison and Adam deserve to die for it? Why the hell does ANYBODY deserve to die, EVER? Who gave this clown a right to end someone’s life? Who gave ANY of the other assholes a right to end the lives of others just because they wanted to end their own???
I’m sorry. I’m trying to write this without letting my emotions get the better of me, especially because I know a lot of people I respect will be reading this and I want to convey a sensible message without this sounding like mindless rambling.
I won’t even begin to try and pretend I have ANY idea what their families are going through right now. Losing someone is tough enough, but for it to happen this way is just too much. I could never understand unless it was to happen to me in this manner.
I am dead serious when I say that I’ve struggled listening to the radio at times today, because certain songs would almost bring me to tears, as I’ve had Alison and Adam in my mind and heart today. Innocent people who still had their whole lives ahead of them, and they’re killed before they can see the rest of it.
Some may wonder, “Why the hell do you care? You don’t know these people. No one cared about them yesterday and now everyone’s crying over them being dead! Please!”
(Yes…I did see that on a Facebook post earlier)
For those wondering, here’s why the hell I care. We meet new people every day. Not knowing someone yesterday doesn’t mean they can’t impact our lives TODAY. Just because I don’t know someone doesn’t mean I wouldn’t care for them if I did. There are people I’ve met on Facebook that I have not met in real life who have impacted my life in a positive way more than people I do know in real life. So should they matter less because I haven’t yet met them in person?
Connie Britton of ABC’s Nashville is my favorite actress. I am also an aspiring screenwriter. I’ve never met her and there’s a pretty good chance I never will. However, she has impacted my life in such a positive way that I decided to spend a few weeks writing an entire pilot script of a television sitcom, all because of something she said that was likely a joke. That’s right…I run with something that she was likely teasing about. Why? Because I really admire her as an actress. I follow her on Facebook and Twitter and every now and then, she’ll post something that really shows the kind of person she is, at least from what I see. She is a very intelligent and articulate woman, but watching her in interviews, she also seems very real. I mean as in approachable. She’ll tell you like it is without aiming to be nasty about it. She’ll be kind if you deserve it. Just an all-around great person, at least from what I see. That’s why the decision to spend a few weeks working very hard on a script was not a tough one for me, even in the event that she never sees it.
My point of mentioning her is that we never know how people will touch our lives. We certainly never know when. Connie has been in the business for almost 20 years, but I only learned of her when Nashville began in 2012. Since then, she has quickly moved to the top of the list of people I would love to meet.
People come into our lives in all different sorts of ways. Sadly, through death is how they may enter into them as well. Does it mean that someone can’t touch your life even in death? Of course they can. It may not last for long, but it lasts long enough.
Long enough to make us stop what we call such “busy” lives and take the time to acknowledge the departure of two truly amazing people. Long enough to put all the bullshit aside and possibly unite with others who share our same feelings about this. Long enough to realize what’s really important in life. Long enough to realize that we don’t have it as bad as we all may think we do. Long enough to take the time to make sure we reach out to our loved ones or even spend a little extra time with those at home with us. Long enough to realize that tomorrow is not promised.
I’ve never met Alison and Adam and I likely would never have known them had this not happened. However, I do know them NOW.
And my heart truly hurts for them and their families. I know that condolences mean very little in the grand scheme of things, but to any of the family members of Alison and/or Adam, if any of you are reading this, this soldier and fellow journalist sends…my words, my condolences, my prayers, my…just everything. I don’t know. I want to help in some way and I know that I truly can’t.
I just hope that in time, you all will be able to find some peace after this. I know that you will likely never truly get over it, but you will certainly find the strength to begin the process of saying goodbye and moving on. I wish you all nothing but the very best of luck as you do so.