#SocialMediaStalkers: Why The Need? It’s Not Like People Don’t Know You’re There

Cyber-Stalking.jpg

The internet is one of the best inventions I can think of. It has allowed us to do so many wonderful things and has ultimately made life incredibly convenient for us in a lot of ways. One of these ways is that it allows people to “stalk” others.

Now when I say “stalk,” I’m not talking about someone who looks through your picture albums. There’s nothing wrong with that. Looking at those, past statuses and things like that are fine. Some people don’t get on that much and when they do, they’re mostly looking to catch up. In some cases, there are certain people on your list whose statuses you may enjoy reading and you want to make sure you read them all. Nothing wrong with that at all.

I am talking about those who stalk their “friends” or other people they don’t like.

Wait…what? People who are their friends that they don’t really like or others in that same category? That’s who’s being “stalked”? That’s who some people have nothing better to do than to follow?

I’m willing to bet that many of you who are guilty of this are reading this right now. Yes, you’re an internet “stalker.” If you choose to do that, that’s your right.

But seriously…why?

There are people you don’t like whose profile you constantly want to look at. Exes you want to keep tabs on. People you claim are your friends, yet you don’t really care for them. These are the folks you feel the need to waste precious time in your life to “stalk” on social media or the internet in other ways as well.

Why?

Again, the internet is a wonderful invention that has allowed you to be able to do a ton of things, but also to tap into the lives of practically whoever you’d like without them ever knowing.

…or at least you think they don’t know. Yep…there’s all kinds of ways to know whether you’re stalking certain folks. Oh…you thought it was impossible to find out?

For example, I know of at least one person who still reads my blog posts on here, even though we are no longer friends. It’s a sad situation, because we were childhood friends and friends for all these years (more than 25) up until several months ago. But this is the classic case of jealousy. Without putting all her business out there, the bottom line is that this is nothing more than someone seeing another person doing better than they are and rather than learn from that or maybe even follow that person’s example, they would rather find ways to undermine that person’s accomplishments.

Not to get into everything from beginning to end, but the final straw for me was when her spouse got upset at me for not having read some Facebook statuses to know that my former childhood friend was in the hospital. That’s right…my former friend was in the hospital and rather than being contacted DIRECTLY, her spouse decided to fuss at me because I didn’t see the statuses. She went on into all this and that about how I can “change my settings so that important statuses show up first” and I couldn’t even believe what I was reading. I’m being jumped on for what…not being on Facebook “enough”? That’s a joke.

Then she decided to call me everything but a child of God, while putting me down in every way, shape and form, on top of acknowledging all my accomplishments while adding that “no one cares about them.” For example, I do a lot of running and she is someone who is grossly out of shape. I only say that because that is what she once told me herself. So that was something in there as well, since she obviously was tired of seeing my Nike+ app post my runs to social media once I’ve completed them…not that I asked for her permission for them to be posted. Now, I’m not one to look down on anyone as though the accomplishments of others should match mine. Absolutely not. We’re all in different places in life. However, I wasn’t the least bit surprised. The anger wasn’t even sensibly directed or specific. In other words, all of what was said was something she had been waiting to say for a long time. She just needed a good enough excuse to do so. 99% of it was totally unrelated to my friend’s hospital visit or the fact that I didn’t “check Facebook to see that she was there.”

So while my former childhood friend and I  haven’t spoken in several months and I don’t plan on doing so, I know that she still reads these posts. Hell, she even had another friend decide to write me to tell me directly that this is what they (yes, THEY…not even her alone) were doing. If we aren’t friends anymore, I truly don’t understand why. Then again, I have my theories as to why she, or even anyone else out there who cyber stalks does so.

The biggest reason is something pretty much everyone has heard of before: MISERY LOVES COMPANY. You’re miserable, so it makes you feel better to see or at least to THINK others miserable in some way as well. This is also a reason so many people are quick to say that those who claim they are happy are “faking” it on social media, even though there is absolutely no proof whatsoever. Then again, proof isn’t even important. People say that because they know THEY aren’t happy with their lives and they have to convince themselves that others are not as well.

Another reason is because many of you don’t like to see others succeed, again, because you are not successful yourself. The stalking is to keep track on whether this success (or lack thereof…hopefully, right?) happens. You check these people’s social media accounts to see if they’re on track to be successful as you hope they aren’t. If they are successful, you continue to check to see if things will begin to go badly for them.

As for me, I am an aspiring screenwriter. Now I don’t like to think about “haters” and all that, but when I am looking to embark on a career in which I may be working with a lot of famous actors/actresses, directors, producers, in movies and television, I’d be hard-pressed not to find people who don’t want to see that happen for me, to include my former childhood friend. Even people on my lists now who are pretending to be my friend while they secretly hope I fail, or they simply don’t think this will ever happen for me…I’m talking about you all. I know you’re out there. If I am not successful, you “cheer” to yourself. If I am, you may either huff and puff a bit, or even pretend that we have always been the best of friends. Old school rapper Biz Markie once called that “catching the vapors.”

Personally, I’m always looking to improve my situation, because there is always room for improvement, so I truthfully don’t see much in me to be jealous of, especially since I’m always looking to help others in some way. I may be a little better off here or there, but when I was raised along with three siblings by a single mother who busted her ass to make sure we were taken care of, I’m letting her down if I did anything less than what I’m doing. I’m always going to put my best effort forward and never be satisfied.

However, obviously not everyone else thinks in that same manner. That’s fine if that’s what you choose.

So again, for those of you who sit on your computers/phones/tablets and “stalk” your friends or former friends for whatever reason…why the need to do so? What do you hope to gain from it? How does your life improve by doing this? Are your lives really so boring that this is what you consider as entertainment? Sitting around and wishing for people to fail in some way? Stalking that ex and hoping that their significant other is “lesser” than you in some way, whether it be by looks, social status, etc.? What’s the point? They’re still with that other person and not you. You can say what you want, but if you were really over that person, you wouldn’t have the need to check up on them like that. So the ex is “uglier” in your opinion than you are. What does that even mean? That makes you feel better in some way, as if you’ve “made the right decision” in not being with that ex anymore? Why did you get with them in the first place?

I’ll say again that it’s quite obvious who does this. Here is what I will end with: If you are sitting back and wishing for someone to fail, expecting them to fail, whether in their careers or relationships, only a person who knows failure would wish for that on someone. Because a mature, intelligent person never would. Just because you don’t tell someone you’re a stalker doesn’t mean people won’t know. If you want to stalk, that’s fine. Just remember that you are paying super-close attention to someone’s life that is moving as yours is not and if you keep things up, it never will be. Period.

Thanks for reading.

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