#Transgender Men/Women and Restrooms: I Once Had Reservations About This. That Is, Until I Realized…


As I went on my 4-mile run this morning, like every other time I run, I think about a lot of different things and I mean a lot. As a writer, most of the time, it’s about that. But other times, it could be how far I plan on running (on a particular day), how long my sore legs and knees will hold up, how the hell a particular song ended up on my playlist, what will be happening at work or what my family and I will be having for dinner that evening.

But this morning, I actually thought about transgender men and women and the use of restrooms. Now people have made their opinions very clear and are not the least bit shy about sharing them. Many simply are not okay with transgenders using the restrooms of the gender they identify with.

I will be totally honest. I had my reservations about this as well. I am a big supporter of the LGBT community, but my mind was more on those who would take advantage of this. It’s sickening that some out there would do that, but that is unfortunately the world we live in. I will honestly say that I can’t entirely blame people for allowing their minds to go here and be more concerned with the bad folks out there than the good.

So again, yes, I did have my reservations. That is, until I realized one thing…

…that I am a black man.

As I will be 37 in a few months, I didn’t exactly forget that I’m black, but in really thinking about it, I am someone who has dealt with quite a bit of discrimination as well; mostly as a black child growing up in Baltimore City.

I refer back to the times I walked into stores and was followed. I’m not even talking about a look here and there. I mean, seriously followed around the store. Asked every few minutes if I “needed anything.” That really bothered me. In the beginning, I didn’t understand why. Here I was, a 10, 11 or 12-year-old who was there to buy something silly, like candy, a rubber ball, a soda or something like that. I had absolutely no intentions of stealing anything. However, I was treated the way I was based on how the bad kids behaved. So, because of what they did, I had to “suffer” for it. It wasn’t a good feeling at all. I felt that I was wrong just for being there.

I was also stopped many times by police officers, even handcuffed on occasion. The reason? Because I “matched the description of” someone else or that I “looked suspicious.” It was basically around the same age and I felt the same way…that I was wrong because of what others did. I tried to really understand this and in a way, I kinda sorta did. Just like the store manager, the police couldn’t really wait for me to do something before they arrested me. They were just being cautious, right? But that was a very small consolation to how humiliated I was to have to endure that.

Now, would it have been fair for me to NOT be allowed to shop at whatever store just because of what the bad kids did? How about not being allowed to play hide-and-seek with my friends on the city streets just because I “looked suspicious” or “matched someone’s description”? Oh yeah…hide-and-seek. Hide-and-freaking-seek. That’s what I was doing when police would stop me as a 10 and 11-year-old. At the time, I didn’t realize there were so many kids out there who were in jail for things like burglary, arson, hell, even murder. The extent of MY juvenile delinquency was taking a pencil off my teacher’s desk one time. So at the time, I had no idea how I could even be looked at the way I was by store managers, police officers and so on.

But again, I ask…would it have been okay for me to not be able to do the things I did just because of the bad people? That’s the way I feel about transgender men and women and restroom use. So yes…there very well can be people who would take advantage of that. But that’s nothing new. People try to take advantage of damn near everything. So, because of those bad people, transgender people should NOT be able to use the bathrooms of the gender they identify with?

I understand that Bruce Springsteen said that he would not perform in North Carolina because of the law being passed that transgender people cannot use the restrooms of the gender they identify with. I haven’t really researched the story or know the specifics in great detail, so anyone reading, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Now, I am obviously nowhere near the level that Mr. Springsteen is. I am merely an Army soldier with 19 years of service. I am largely forgotten about unless it is Veteran’s Day, or maybe Memorial Day as I am in a pool for a several hundred thousand other service members. There is nothing I could “threaten” that would make anyone lose an ounce of sleep. Hell, most people may not even read this.

But passion for something cannot exist only when we think people are watching or reading. It doesn’t matter that I’m not on Springsteen’s level or status, nor how few people will likely read this. Wrong is wrong. Again, I get why some would have a problem with this or wouldn’t agree, but as someone who has been discriminated against many times, I have to say that this is one I had to really look at and think about. I saw that it was absolutely not right to pay more attention to the bad people who might do this or that than the ones who simply want to be treated fairly.

On top of that, I also think about this. When the hell are we going to start holding those “bad” people accountable? Why are we always catering to them? So people don’t deserve certain rights because of what the bad people may do? Let’s take women for example. So, a woman wants to go out one weekend. What do we tell her?

Be careful of the way you dress.

Don’t go out by yourself.

Don’t leave your drink unattended.

Don’t flirt with everyone.

Don’t drink too much.

Don’t be “too” polite to men.

Don’t breathe in a man’s presence or you’ll get raped and if you do, that’s YOUR fault.

Okay, maybe not that last one, but hell…it may as well be that bad. But what do we say to the men who may potentially do this? Nothing. The women have to tiptoe around the city and wherever because of how men may act, while we’re afraid to tell men how they should behave. All these “rules” are created to dictate how the woman should carry herself “just in case,” but not a word said to these men.

I get that we have to be careful. I totally understand that. But there comes a time when we have to stop adjusting everything to those who will do bad things and stop taking basic rights away from those who do not.

Now I’m far from stupid. There will be a ton of people who are 100% against the LGBT community and will only use this as a crutch. No surprise there and many times, it’s pretty obvious as to who these people are.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. Hell, I’ve been married to a woman who happens to be white for the past almost 17 years, so to be disagreed with is really nothing new for me. Take a number. But that won’t change what I feel about this.

If we continued to cater to the “bad” folks out there or everyone who didn’t agree with something, then women would never have been allowed to vote. Blacks and whites would still be segregated. Gay marriage would still not be allowed.

The fact is that times are changing and in my opinion, progressing in a great direction. I say all this as a straight man. I would hate for a law to be passed that says that because of the black people who may shoplift, I could not frequent certain stores. That I couldn’t go outside and  play catch with my son or teach my daughter how to ride her bike without “fitting the description” of someone else who committed a crime.

You may say, “But Robert, that’s different.” I really don’t think it is. Of course, the circumstances surrounding it are, but discrimination is discrimination. In a transgender person’s case, they are being judged or pre-judged because of what could happen and just as in my examples, mainly because of the prejudices and biases that exist. Again, because of the ones who may want to do wrong, those who do not are being made to suffer for it.

“But Robert, what about your wife and daughter…” What about them? The two most important girls in my life mean everything in the world to me, but I don’t believe encouraging them to be prejudiced, paranoid, or to stereotype is going to stop anything from happening. As I always suggest, I will encourage them to vigilant and mindful of their surroundings. Crimes don’t avoid happening just because we don’t want them to happen. Yes, there’s being careful, but there’s also addressing those who commit the crimes. Here, if the issues is that men may sneak into a women’s bathroom, well hell, they could’ve done that before. 

People love to say, “We’re just worried about the perverts who will use this as an opportunity to use the women’s bathrooms.” That’s a tired argument. It’s as if perverts were all just sitting around and NOT being perverts, as they waited for this to happen. Not like this was EVER considered before, nor will there be other ways they can continue to be perverts. Let’s think about this: So a man decides that he wants to dress up like a woman to sneak into the bathroom. Do you seriously think a law would give him the “green light” to do so? It wasn’t at all possible that he’s wanted to or even did it before? Maybe we should address how people like this behave rather than to make it a problem that those who do nothing wrong have to deal with.
The bottom line is and has always been this. You can either get on board or get left behind.

Because change IS happening, whether people want it to or not. And I for one, as someone who has and is still at times, discriminated against, will NOT be the person who says it’s okay to do the very same thing to transgender people that I didn’t feel it was okay to have done to me.

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61 Responses to #Transgender Men/Women and Restrooms: I Once Had Reservations About This. That Is, Until I Realized…

  1. Kelly says:

    Beautifully written, I felt the same way until I realized the ones pretending to be transgendered could go into locker rooms and change rooms with my daughter and granddaughter, and this has already been happening. Thank you

    Like

  2. I am a beautiful trans woman. Would men want me to go into there restroom or would I be safe in there restroom, no I would not. A transman with a full beard and a deep voice but female genitals could go into your daughters or wife’s bathroom, would your wife be comfortable? Transwomen are attacked and murdered every day or even moment for just being who they are. It’s more dangerous for a transwoman to use the men’s room. We just want to pee. Elia

    Like

    • I think there are two separate parts here.

      1> Bigots who just want to discriminate against transgender people.

      2> People who are scared that perverts will just use this as an excuse to be able to perv on them or their children.

      Now, #1 are just bigots so we can pretty much ignore them.
      But #2 is a fairly valid concern. Its far to easy for anyone to pretend to be transgender to gain an advantage even if they have actual intentions or transgender feelings.

      Having said that, its not like it doesn’t happen already, but there is a genuine fear (unfounded or not) that this will make it worse.

      I don’t think anyone other than the bigots actually objects to actual transgender people using either bathroom.

      Personally I’d say just eliminate sex-based bathrooms altogether and just make them all uni-sex and have decent stalls instead. Problem solved, there is no opportunity for discrimination any-more AND it eliminates the potential for existing perverts to do whatever they were doing as easily as well.

      I’m more worried about non-trans people when I’m using the bathroom to be honest, the trans people are normally more worried about doing their business and getting out without hassle,

      Like

      • Linette Greene says:

        Actually these laws make it easier for those who are perverts to use bathrooms for nefarious purposes. Someone would have had to attempt to impersonate a woman to enter a ladies’ room before. Now, a man can simply waltz in….without even attempting to dress.

        What is absolutely insane is that over 200 cities have had these protections in place for many years–over six years in my town of Missoula, MT. There has been not ONE SINGLE CASE of anyone using the nondiscrimination laws for nefarious purposes.

        Laws already exist against stalking, molestation, peeping, videoing anyone in a bathroom. It does not matter what gender lawbreakers have. Arrest them for breaking laws.

        These laws exist for one purpose only–to further disenfranchise the LGBTQ community, to make people froth over something that has been happening without incident for many years. I will guarantee that every woman and child in America has peed without incident with transwomen.

        When we passed our nondiscrimination ordinance in 2010, a group called “Not My Bathroom” tried to overturn it. The citizens of Missoula responded with “Flush the Fear.

        This only benefits politicians pandering to their “baser” base, and distracting the rest of us from issues of real import.

        Like

  3. Sarah McBride says:

    A really fantastic piece!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Tim says:

    No, I still don’t agree with the rest of our country having to change because of the very small percentage if people that choose to be transgender Just the word bothers me, change the sex you were born with? You as a black man, did you try to change or stand up to what your were BORN as. I’m sorry, I would not feel comfortable with a real transgender using the same bathroom as me.
    They were not born that way and its sickening when they wanna change.
    Build a separate restroom, like in rest stops they have that separate FAMILY bathroom marked for either gender but has a lock on the door

    Like

    • pplscrt79 says:

      Tim, what is the rest of the country having to “change”?

      Liked by 2 people

    • Or perhaps we could follow the lead of the SCOTUS in the 1950s and not resort to separate but equal facilities, just to placate a handful of people who refuse to accept that trans men and women exist? The fact that you use the word “sickening” to describe them really tells us more about you than about them. You are actively trying to deny them equality based on your own prejudices. They just want to pee.

      Liked by 3 people

    • Emily says:

      No, you just want us to “fit in” with the way YOU view society to be.
      To draw the comparison, line many of the people who wanted black people to “act white” in order to fit in.
      You are the one that’s disgusting.

      Like

    • Blow Pop says:

      Transgender people don’t CHOOSE to be so. Most know at a very young age.

      Why exactly would you not feel comfortable using a public bathroom with a “real transgender” (and wtf does that even mean? )? Do you do things you shouldn’t do in bathrooms? How is it any different from a parent taking their child to the bathroom that identifies with the parent’s identity and not the child’s?

      Most people, regardless of gender, only want to use bathrooms to empty their bowels. Or fix appearance including but not limited to taking a paper towel and getting a stain out of clothing or to adjust clothing such as straightening/re-tying a tie. Or taking tiny humans to empty their bowls/changing diapers.

      I don’t know about you, but when I use the bathroom it is out of necessity and not for fun. I definitely don’t enjoy going to the bathroom. And don’t know anyone who really does. The closest me and others I know get is relief from the pressure/urge/need to go.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Annette says:

      First of all, there’s a chance you’ve already been with a bathroom with a transgender man and didn’t know it. Really, go ahead and google “transgender man” and you’ll see examples of men that are as masculine and manly as you’ve ever seen, and they weren’t born genetically male. You probably wouldn’t have a clue if you were in the bathroom with one of them or not.
      Second of all, I have personally been in a co-ed bathroom IN THE USA. Not only was it multi-stalled, and for use by men and women at the same time, but the stalls were only up to my shoulders when I was standing up – which meant that yes you could easily see who was in each stall. You couldn’t see what they were doing unless you got really close but you could still see the people. This was in Louisiana. If it’s okay to have bathrooms for use by both genders at the same time then why would be not be okay to let transgendered people use the bathroom that they identify with?
      As a woman I am not at all worried about creepy predators using laws as an excuse to gain access to women’s washrooms and spy on us or sexually assault us. Trust me the guys that are wanting to do that kind of thing aren’t the ones that would be using laws as any kind of excuse.

      Like

    • Leslea Smith says:

      Well Tim, if you think it’s a choice, PROVE IT. Live as a trans person for a year. If it’s a CHOICE, you should have NO problems.

      Just as you don’t choose your heritage, the colour of your eyes or your natural hair colour, you don’t CHOOSE your gender. You only choose to be honest about it.

      But then again, scientific proof may be required. I tried living as a male & it failed utterly. I wasn’t a male. Never was. The only thing I transitioned was gender ROLES. My gender was female from day one.

      And contrary to your OPINION, civilized people don’t say “well we MOSTLY have equality, so that’s good enough, who gives a shit about this or that shit upon minority”… Minorities are protected DESPITE the opinions of bigots, not because of them.

      Like

    • Ami says:

      Tim, there was another group of people that were pushed to a different bathroom in the Unitied States. It was determined in 1964 that that was not ethical treatment of human beings. Having a separate bathroom for transgender people is even more dangerous that integration. It paints a target on their back and makes them an easy victim for bigots.

      I also have some REALLY bad news for you: you’ve peed next to a trans person. A trans person will pee next to you in the future.

      Like

    • mamak says:

      THEY ALREADY ARE TIM! That’s the thing…people who are transgendered are ALREADY using bathrooms that they are more comfortable using. You just don’t realize it. https://www.facebook.com/bo.radley.71?fref=ts&ref=br_tf

      Like

    • scbgreen says:

      He never said he was unhappy being black or that he wanted to change himself. People who are transgender feel they were not born who they feel they are inside. Like a man feeling his entire life like he was supposed to be a woman or vice versa. It really exists. They did not choose to feel this way. They were born feeling this way and have struggled with it their entire lives. I will pray for you.

      Like

    • Rahne Noble says:

      Actually, I was born this way. Thanks for playing.

      Like

    • Katrina says:

      You are just a sad, fearful person. Why else would you feel threatened Transgender people? I also don’t understand it, but I have compassion and definitely would hate to see anyone discriminated against just because of their gender. How dumb is that?

      Like

  5. Lydia says:

    Well said.

    Like

  6. Lesley says:

    Exquisitely written and spot on! Thank you for penning (typing) the words that many, like myself are feeling without the eloquence to put down. And lastly, but no where near least; Thank you for your service to this Country…
    Health, Happiness and Freedom always.

    Like

  7. rugby843 says:

    I loved reading your blog. I totally agree with you. I am sorry you were watched closely and followed in shops, and especially as a child. I worked at a large chain store in TX and observed this disgusting behavior frequently. That was in the 90s. In the 60s discrimination was even more blatant. Moving from a northern location to the south was a huge culture shock. I could not believe the signs on the water fountains and restrooms. It was very sad and disappointing to see America in this light. I would have hoped more progress would have been made by this time. Now it seems every one is trying to divide us up even more. These are not the American values I treasured as a child. I think if people would just use common sense, a live and let live attitude, and respect each other no matter what their choice is, we would all be better off.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Hal says:

    Excellent article and analogy to the current LGBT situation. Thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts from your run..! Keep them flowing and hopefully others will realize that these thoughts are as important as Bruce’s.! Hal

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ronald van Loon says:

    It amuses me to no end that something all human beings have to do would be such a source of discussion. Why not create all individual ‘restrooms’ ? The place I leave behind those things that my body does apparently have no use for, is gender neutral to me. Even if I have to share the space to someone in the same situation, I don’t really care about his or her gender. It’s not a team effort. Don’t try to make it one.

    Like

    • pplscrt79 says:

      If you really “didn’t care,” then I don’t see the purpose of a comment. What amuses me to no end is how people get so up in arms about “not caring” about stuff like this, yet they find a reason to comment on just about EVERY story to announce it. The title made it clear as to what the post would be about, so it’s not as if you were blindsided. Just because a cause isn’t important to you doesn’t mean it isn’t important to someone else. With all due respect, no one is in the position to tell other people what’s important to them and what isn’t.

      Like

      • Christina Meadows says:

        I think Ronald is on your side but was just misunderstood. He was saying it shouldn’t be such a big issue to the world at large because emptying one’s bladder or bowels is already such a private, gender-neutral action – and if he has to share the space with someone else while doing so, he doesn’t care about their gender.
        We all tend to do it fairly privately anyway – or at least women do, since we use stalls for everything.
        Anyway, I really enjoyed reading your piece. You’re an exceptional writer. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and thank you for your service, Sir!

        Like

      • pplscrt79 says:

        Thanks so much for reading, the kind words, and certainly my apologies if I did misunderstand Ronald’s comment.

        Like

  10. Blow Pop says:

    My only problems with with your article is using trangendered and transgenders.

    Neither one is accurate. Transgender people or trans people is more appropriate. http://time.com/3630965/transgender-transgendered/

    Otherwise good post.

    Like

  11. Penny says:

    This is beautifully written and says so much and I agree with you 150%. I think people forget that this country has grown, has to grow, or get left behind. Oh, and for those who speak of how they would never want a trans person in their bathrooms…
    A. I bet they’ve already had them and never known it. I know several trans women that are absolutely beautiful, not to forget those handsome trans men, wow!
    And B. Who is going to be responsible for looking at genitalia?
    It’s an election year, can’t we stick to the important issues? Like how the heck a sexist, biggot, pig like Trump has come this far…?

    Like

  12. Penny says:

    This is beautifully written and says so much and I agree with you 150%. I think people forget that this country has grown, has to grow, or get left behind. Oh, and for those who speak of how they would never want a trans person in their bathrooms…
    A. I bet they’ve already had them and never known it. I know several trans women that are absolutely beautiful, not to forget those handsome trans men, wow!
    And B. Who is going to be responsible for looking at genitalia? Because otherwise, very often, one would never know!
    Why not leave trans people alone? It’s an election year, can’t we stick to the important issues? Like how the heck a sexist, biggot, pig like Trump has come this far…?
    Thank you for your service and wonderful insight!

    Like

  13. Jeremie says:

    Thank you for service and THANK YOU for taking the time to empathise and form a respectful opinion. You approached this in the way a true American with American values would. That is sadly rare in these culture debates.

    May I share this around here in Richmond Virginia?

    Like

  14. murphyjacobs says:

    I found this via a share on G+ (Yes, people are there) and very much appreciate how you’ve expressed this. You bring up the one point that has been in my head since this started — people think somehow this law would somehow “greenlight” predators? That because there was no law before, predators just didn’t go into women’s bathrooms (either in drag or, hell, just in their usual garb)?

    Considering that most trans* people are doing all they can NOT to stand out, NOT to be noticed as they live their lives in their true gender identity, I can’t imagine any of them wanting to make a show out of their genitalia, their chromosomal make-up, or what particular padding or devices they are using to “complete” their appearance and make themselves comfortable. Like most anyone else, they want to go into a private stall or single person bathroom, close the door, do what they need to do, and get on with their lives without bothering anyone or being bothered themselves.

    Straight, cis, white, Southern, middleclass female me has been fortunate enough to meet and to know people from all sides of the orientation/identity spectrum, to become friends, to stand around in public, and to share music, food, and fun. In general, “they” look just like “us” most of the day. Some folks like to dress up, paint their faces, sing, dance, do whatever — lots of them during football season in particular. πŸ™‚ When they go to work in the office, the store, the garage, the restaurant, or where ever, they just want to look like the person they are, which usually means not attracting attention (because too often that attention is negative and dangerous). All those worried people who can’t grasp understanding or feel threatened will likely never ever notice the trans* folk around them.

    So, thank you for posting this. I’m going to reshare this post to others on G+ because you’ve spoken an important truth from an important point of view and it needs to get around.

    Like

  15. Gerry says:

    What a beautifully written piece from a personal point of view that I’ll bet many of those up arms in on this transgender piece obviously cannot relate to.

    I thank you for this piece, and I thank you for your service to this country, and yes, I shared this wonderful piece and encouraged all to read and heed it.

    Like

  16. Chris Lamke says:

    Thank you for the well written and reasoned post. For me, respect for transgender people and their gender identity is a basic human rights issue, one of several you raised here to demonstrate the equivalence of the struggle for black civil rights, women’s rights, and transgender rights.

    Ultimately, this is one more front in the war between those who consider only themselves and their tribe to be fully human and worth protecting as such, and those who believe every person is a full human being, with the same needs and deserving the same rights.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Holly says:

    Your a true hero, you spoke beautifully and what you wrote was perfect ally said! Thank you for taking time out of your day to care for strangers! If we could all do this the world would be s beautiful place!
    Keep being inspirational pleaseπŸ™πŸΌ
    For who are we to judge!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Leslea Smith says:

    Excellently written article. I think there are all too many parallels with trans equality issues & the civil rights movement. I often challenge the haters with that of rephrasing their comments to refer to those of colour, rather than those who are trans. If it suddenly sounds like something you’d slap a KKK jackhole upside the head for saying, then it’s about bigotry, period. NOT valid concerns.

    Like

  19. Alice says:

    As a trans woman, thanks for your support and your thoughts πŸ™‚

    My state (Maryland) has allowed people like me to use the bathroom that matches our gender since 2014 and there have been no reports of “pervert men pretending to be women” here. Since the passage of the anti-trans NC law, I haven’t heard any reports of bathroom perverts, but I’ve heard SEVERAL cis women (i.e. both with female anatomy) accosted, arrested, and in one case, tasered, because they didn’t have ID on them to “prove” they were women, or just because they “looked like men”

    That’s what these laws lead to – they protect no one and harm innocent bystanders, all in the name of a crusade against some virtually nonexistent boogeyman.

    Like

  20. Kelli anderson says:

    Thank you for opening my eyes and my mind.

    Like

  21. mamak says:

    Thank you so much for this! I’ve been having this conversation OVER and OVER with people. I hope you don’t mind my sharing your blog now. I have a feeling I’ll be doing it a lot. πŸ˜€

    Like

  22. Tiffany says:

    That was fantastic! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences and for your service to our country.

    Like

  23. Dannette says:

    I did read this UR entire post and youbsre so correct about every word. Why do we have to cater to the bad people? Its like we are giving them their gratification because we are “scared” of them. Thanks for the great article!

    Like

  24. Matt says:

    This could be said for gun owners also. They are being discriminated against because of the bad people that use guns for crimes. If we could all carry people wouldn’t fear as much an out these other changes.

    Like

  25. Sue Seepial says:

    Thanks. Excellent analysis.

    Like

  26. Joshua Perry says:

    This change has no affect on actual transgenders. To think that they were not already using the restroom of the sex they appear to be is ludicrous…there would have been complaints to be sure. The ONLY thing this change accomplishes is to give an affirmative defense to perverts who are not transgenders. We’ve all seen the tomboy looking woman in the men’s room, and the not so attractive taller individual in the men’s room and we all knew, but no one has said a word about it. This is nothing like he racial discrimation you described. This new law does not change anything for transgenders, but it does give perverts a get out of jail free card. I still see the LGBTQE alphabet soup crowd the way medical science has for a very long time…they have a disorder and need our help and compassion, and this change in the law does nothing to help the man that dresses up as a woman and has been using the women’s restroom for a couple decades, it only causes that individual to now be lumped in with the scraggly old man with a beard that will walk into the women’s room and say, “I identify as a woman” to avoid prosecution. And meanwhile, the man that dresses like a woman will feel even more ashamed and even more disconnected from he rest of society, because now that man is an evil pervert, not someone confused about their own sexuality that needs our compassion. This new law only creates hate, it does nothing to lessen discrimination.

    Like

  27. Christina Neville says:

    I am very happy to have read this, I feel the same. These lovely people are part of my life, they go through so many struggles just to be happy and themselves. As a short fat woman I have been through a lot of bulling, and not treated equally on many occasions. I can not just stand by and do nothing when people are unfairly discriminated upon. I always step up, and call people on their behavior, no matter how they might react to me. I am raising two boys and want them to know that all deserve respect. So thank you for this.

    Like

  28. I love how you think.

    Like

  29. April Long says:

    Love your post. You now how when people are scared to fly on an airplane, and someone busts out with “statistically speaking, you have a better chance of being killed in a car wreck than in a plane crash”? Well…. they are right. And in that light, it would also be correct to say that statistically speaking, you have a better change of being sexually assaulted by your dad or brother than a transgender stranger in a bathroom. Take a look at my post for the facts about this issue here: https://www.facebook.com/april.walker.7140/posts/10207354965486994
    90% of all sex crimes are committed by a family member or a person the victim knows.
    Using the fear of monsters in bathrooms, hiding and wearing wigs, is just an excuse for hate. In my post, I have direct links to the FACTS about sexual crimes. Education is key. I appreciate your courage in standing up for other human beings. It’s sad that we have to thank each other to do what should be natural and widespread….loving others.
    April

    Like

  30. Juliette says:

    What about transgender that want to use the bathroom of the sex they identify with but look like the sex they are which is the opposite of the restroom they wish to use? I ask because a transgender just told me they should not have to be dressed as their identifying sex to use that restroom. I have no issue peeing next to a transgender but if I walk into a female restroom and a man is in there I’m certain to be beyond uncomfortable and probably pepper spray him/her.

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  31. Patricia Binder says:

    So are you ok with a woman coming in to the men’s room and standing at the urinal next to you? Remember this law does not specify you have to be a Transgender to visit whichever restroom you are comfortable with. How does your wife feel about a good looking lady standing watching you?
    Why are the rights to privacy of the majority of the people being taken away to make the minority happy?? In most cases there’s already a family, unisex, or separate restroom .. what is wrong with them?

    Like

  32. Kait says:

    Thank you, from a trans woman.

    And thank you for your service to our country. Best wishes to you and your family.

    Like

  33. Kat street says:

    Completely amazing. You have shed light on a very important subject. Thank you.

    Like

  34. I appreciate this article and the fact that the author doesn’t just see with his eyes, which is a huge problem with a lot of people. These “bathroom dangers” are complete nonsense, and are completely based on fear. Living a “safe” life isn’t worth the obsessive worry and unnecessary accusations toward innocent people that ends up being a complete flop. I’d rather use my kind heart for a shorter life, than to live a long hellish life only to constantly look over my shoulder for the boogey man. We are probably much more likely to get in a car accident than to get attacked in a department store bathroom.

    This also reminds me of the paranoia recently involving foreign refugees coming into this country, because they mayyyy be terrorists. The legal process to get into this country, and the process of changing your gender, isn’t convenient enough for exploitation. Both screening processes take a reasonably amount of time and effort and for good reasons.

    Like

  35. Katrina says:

    Great post! You have made some very positive, valid points. I agree.

    Like

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