Want a “Rayna-Deacon” Sitcom? Here It Is

Connie Britton and Charles Esten photo from Twitter (4-2-15)

“RAY-DEA-OH”

FADE IN:

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE – MONTAGE – DAY

Eager TOURISTS stroll along the walkway as many snap photos
in front of the massive two guitars that sit outside the
beautiful and historic Grand Ole Opryhouse. One person
playfully reaches for invisible guitar strings and pretends
to play. An enormous cruise ship glides down the Cumberland
River. Vintage football videos play on the Jumbotron at
Nissan Field. Customers crowd outside the Loveless Cafe as
cars come and go in a packed parking lot.

EXT. OFFICE BUILDING – DAY

The partly cloudy, crystal blue sky reflects off the windows
of a large office building.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING – HALLWAY – DAY

The sign on a door reads, “DR. ERIC J. WATSON, MARRIAGE
THERAPIST.”

INT. DR. WATSON’S OFFICE – DAY

A cozy medium-sized office with a few framed certificates on
the wall. A young-looking, DR. WATSON, 40, sits in a
recliner next to a large bookshelf. His eyes roll back and
forth between a married COUPLE as they argue.

MAN (O.S)
Was not!

WOMAN (O.S.)
Was too.

MAN (O.S.)
It was not!

WOMAN (O.S.)
(calmly)
Was too.

DR. WATSON (V.O.)
(raises eyebrows)
And who says husbands and wives
don’t communicate effectively any
more?

Dr. Watson takes a deep breath.

DR. WATSON
(leans forward)
Okay, okay–let’s start from the
beginning. How long have you two
been married?

WOMAN (O.S.)
Two months.

DR. WATSON
I see. And how long have you two
been together before that?

RAYNA JAYMES, 45, a beautiful and radiant redhead, sits on a
plush loveseat next to her husband, DEACON CLAYBOURNE, 50.
Deacon is scruffy and has a manly handsomeness.

RAYNA
On and off–

Rayna and Deacon look at each other and then back to Dr.
Watson.

RAYNA                                    DEACON
Twenty-four years.                Twenty-five years.

DR. WATSON
Hmm.

DEACON
I was just rounding up.

RAYNA
And I was just, you know, keeping
in mind the first day we met.

DR. WATSON
(chuckles)
Ah–well that explains the–well,
you know–you two kinda sound
like–

RAYNA
(raises eyebrow)
An old married couple?

DR. WATSON
(laughs)
Yes, yes! An old–

Rayna leans back. She isn’t amused.

DR. WATSON (CONT’D)
I mean, no. No! A young–very young
married couple–let me see just how
young here–

Deacon turns to Rayna and then back to Dr. Watson. He takes
a deep breath. Dr. Watson looks at a notepad.

DR. WATSON (CONT’D)
Ah, Deacon, you just turned fifty a
few months ago. And Rayna, you
are–

Dr. Watson cuts his eyes up to Rayna. She folds her arms.

DR. WATSON (CONT’D)
You are–
(clears throat)
Good enough. Let’s continue. So,
Rayna, you also said here that you
feel Deacon is a
little–overprotective?

RAYNA
A little?
(turns to Deacon)
Ha!
(turns back to Dr. Watson)
Let me tell you just how
overprotective he is–

FLASHBACK TO:

MONTAGE – VARIOUS

1) EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT – Deacon storms up to a house with a
brick in his hand as Rayna follows closely behind.

RAYNA
Deacon, stop it!

Deacon heaves the brick through a window. Rayna jumps from
the sounds of the shattering glass.

DEACON
Take that, ya bastard.

RAYNA
Deacon!

DEACON
What?

RAYNA
That’s not his house!

Deacon turns to the house and then back to Rayna. He raises
his eyebrows.

DEACON
Ooh, uh–my bad. See ya.

Deacon runs off.

RAYNA
Wait! Don’t you dare leave me–

Rayna runs after him.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
(loud whisper)
Deacon!

2) INT. BAR – NIGHT – Rayna accidentally bumps into a bar
PATRON, 30. He is short and pitiful-looking.

RAYNA
(to the patron)
Ooh, I am so–

Deacon confronts the patron.

DEACON
(to the patron)
Hey! Why don’t you watch where
you’re goin’ buddy?

The patron holds his hands up.

PATRON
I’m sorry, Sir, I was just–

DEACON
Oh you were just? Well how about I
just–

Deacon grabs the patron’s shirt and yanks him closer to his
face. Rayna leans toward Deacon’s ear as he cuts his eyes to
her.

RAYNA
(whispers)
Baby–I actually bumped into him.
(to the patron)
I’m so sorry.

Deacon looks at the terrified patron.

DEACON
Uh, heh–

Deacon releases and fixes the patron’s shirt. He holds a
hand up toward the BARTENDER.

DEACON (CONT’D)
How ’bout another round for my good
ol’ buddy here? What’d you say your
name was, pal?

The patron turns and rushes out. Bar customers look on with
mouths open. Rayna shakes her head and puts a hand over her
face.

3) INT. RECORD COMPANY – OFFICE – DAY – Deacon looks down at
someone and points.

DEACON
And let me tell you something.
Rayna Jaymes doesn’t need you. She
doesn’t need any of you. She came
into this business with nothing and
made you all. You hear me? You
would be nothing without her. And
you know why?

An ELECTRICIAN, 30, looks up from a wall socket as he grasps
a stack of wires.

ELECTRICIAN
Uh, I’m–just here to fix the
outlet. You mind handing me that
screwdriver?

Deacon nods. He sheepishly turns to grab the screwdriver and
hands it to the electrician.

DEACON
That’s right. Rayna Jaymes’ outlet.
You remember that.

ELECTRICIAN
Right–

The electrician turns back toward the wall and shakes his
head.

RETURN TO PRESENT

Rayna turns to Deacon.

DEACON
Well, if I’m too overprotective–
(turns to Dr. Watson)
It’s because she’s
under–protective. Yeah.

RAYNA
(rolls eyes)
Oh, underprotective? And I guess
each time you’ve overreacted, it’s
because I’ve, uh, under–reacted?

DR. WATSON
Rayna, let’s give Deacon a chance
to respond here. So, Deacon–do you
feel that Rayna could, you know–do
a little more in terms of how she
reacts to certain situations?

DEACON
(cuts his eyes to Rayna)
Oh–she reacts plenty. Let me tell
you about Markus Keen. Remember
him?

FLASHBACK TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP – NIGHT

MARKUS KEEN, 35, has the look of a rockstar-turned-country
singer. He grabs Rayna’s waist from behind.

RAYNA
(giggles)
Oh, Markus!

MARKUS
Come on; you know you love it.

RAYNA
(smiles)
Hmm.

Rayna pops the cork off a bottle of champagne.

RAYNA AND MARKUS
Woah!

MARKUS
So you still on that Deacon kick?

Rayna takes a drink and then hands the bottle to Markus.

RAYNA
Oh Deacon? He’s okay, but ya know;
whatever. You’re what’s hot right
now.

Markus takes a drink.

MARKUS
Now that’s what I like to hear.

Markus kisses Rayna’s neck.

RAYNA
(giggles)
Markus, not here.

MARKUS
Aw, come on. Here you are; the
queen of country music who now owns
your own record label. You’re a
woman who loves to take chances.
You took a big one on me.

Markus hands the bottle back to Rayna.

RAYNA
That’s right; I did.
(takes a drink)

MARKUS
And I will always be grateful.

Rayna swings around to face Markus. She gives him the Come
          hither look.

RAYNA
How ’bout you show me how grateful
you are?

They kiss wildly and passionately.

RAYNA (V.O.) (CONT’D)
You see this, Dr. Watson?

BACK TO PRESENT

Rayna glares at Deacon; her arms folded.

RAYNA
(to Dr. Watson)
My husband here has a pretty wild
imagination.

DR. WATSON
Oh–that didn’t happen?

DEACON
(turns to Rayna)
You’re saying he didn’t kiss you,
Ray? Weren’t you the one who told
me he did?

RAYNA
Okay, he did try for like a second.
(to Dr. Watson)
But Markus didn’t have me bent over
across the rooftop ledge as Deacon
here makes it sound.

DEACON
Look, doctor–

DR. WATSON
(writes on notepad)
“Bent–over–across–roof-top–ledge–”

Rayna’s mouth is open. Deacon snickers. Rayna glares at him.

RAYNA
(to Deacon)
Oh, don’t act like Mr. Innocent.
You’ve had your little flings also.
How about that one little Miss
Thing who practically knocked me
over to get to you after a concert
once?

DEACON
What?!

Rayna turns to Dr. Watson.

RAYNA
Mmm-hmm–

FLASHBACK TO:

INT. CONCERT HALL – NIGHT

Rayna and Deacon rush backstage. They leave thunderous
applause. Rayna hands a microphone to a STAGE CREW MEMBER. A
young WOMAN, 30, pushes past Rayna to get to Deacon.

RAYNA
(to Woman)
Ugh. Excuse you!

DEACON
(to Woman)
Pay no attention to her. Let’s go
on back here.

Deacon takes the woman by the hand and they rush to a back
room. They go in and close the door behind Rayna. She looks
on in horror. She hears bangs against the door.

WOMAN (O.S.)
Oh, Deacon!

DEACON (O.S.)
Oh, strange woman I’ve never met!

WOMAN (O.S.)
Yes! Yes!

DEACON (V.O.)
Are you serious?! Ray–

BACK TO PRESENT

DEACON
(to Dr. Watson)
She never came backstage.
(to Rayna)
And I touched her hand once for
like a split second ON stage and
came right back to you. It didn’t
go anything like that!

RAYNA
(shrugs)
Well–
(leans toward Dr. Watson)
It would have gone that way if I
wasn’t there.
(to Deacon)
I saw the way you were looking at
her.

DR. WATSON
Okay, listen, Rayna and Deacon. It
is perfectly normal to let your
imaginations get the better of you
at times after getting married.

RAYNA
Even with all the history we have?
I mean, hell–we’ve been through
much worse than this.

DR. WATSON
Absolutely. Contrary to popular
belief, long histories don’t
automatically make for perfect
marriages. With all that history,
the thought of “Til Death Do You
Part” was never in the picture. So
you had little reason think of all
this in detail until now–

Deacon leans back. Rayna turns to him and back to Dr.
Watson.

DR. WATSON (CONT’D)
Even with worse happening before,
there was never the feeling of
spending the rest of your lives
together back then. You can expect
more of this. Even though you’ve
been involved for this long, a lot
of what newlyweds go through is
still likely to happen.

RAYNA
Works for me. Thank you, Dr.
Watson.
(stands and looks at Deacon)
Let’s go.

DEACON
Oh no, Rayna. How ’bout we tell him
about your sister setting fire to
my guitar shop?

RAYNA
(sits back down)
Ugh.

DR. WATSON
Oh?

DEACON
Yes. It all started a little after
we got back home from our second
honeymoon–

FLASHBACK TO:

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

A spacious living room. The mantle has a framed picture of
two smiling, beautiful young GIRLS and another of Rayna and
Deacon feeding each other wedding cake. Also on the mantle
are three country music award trophies. The coffee table is
decorated with magazines titled, “COUNTRY MUSIC TODAY” and
“GUITAR WEEKLY.”

Deacon moves past Rayna to pick up suitcases by the front
door. As he reaches the staircase, MADDIE CONRAD, 16, and
DAPHNE CONRAD, 12, rush downstairs. Maddie looks stern and
impatient as Daphne bounces cheerfully. They hug Deacon.

DEACON
Hey girls.

MADDIE
You two are finally back.

DAPHNE
How was it?

DEACON
It was nice. Hey, I’m runnin’ these
upstairs. Go say hi to your mother.

Deacon continues upstairs. The girls make their way to
Rayna. Rayna smiles.

RAYNA
Girls, hey!

Maddie and Daphne hug Rayna. Daphne remains close to Rayna
as Maddie leans on the couch.

MADDIE
Glad you’re finally home.

RAYNA
And how have you two been?

MADDIE
Can I borrow fifty dollars?

RAYNA
Um…and how have you two been?

MADDIE
Great. So can I borrow fifty
dollars?

RAYNA
What for?

Daphne leans toward Rayna.

DAPHNE
(whispers)
It’s for a boy.

RAYNA
(sarcastic gasp)
Say it ain’t so.

MADDIE
(to Daphne)
Bigmouth.

RAYNA
(to Maddie)
Baby, this ain’t exactly the first
time you’ve wanted something for a
boy. So what’s it for this time?

MADDIE
Do I always have to tell you
everything?

DAPHNE
(whispers to Rayna)
It’s for a tattoo. With Jerry’s
name on it.

MADDIE
(to Daphne)
Shut-up!

Daphne smiles. Rayna chuckles.

RAYNA
Maddie, you know I’m not crazy
about you getting tattoos. Not
right now.

MADDIE
Come on, Mom. Didn’t you do this
kind of stuff when you were
younger?

RAYNA
See any tattoos on me?

Maddie walks toward the stairs.

MADDIE
(mumbles)
That’s just because it was a
thousand years ago before tattoos
were invented.

Rayna smiles.

RAYNA
Nah, honey; I won’t be a thousand
for another two months.

Maddie scoffs.

MADDIE
(mumbles)
Whatever. I hate my life.

Maddie heads up the stairs.

RAYNA
Good seein’ ya, too, Maddie.

Rayna shakes her head.

RAYNA
(to Daphne)
So, Jerry’s the new boyfriend, huh?

DAPHNE
Mom, Jerry’s already got a tattoo
of Maddie. That’s why she wants to
get one of him. She has some of the
money, but just needs a little bit
more.

Daphne giggles.

RAYNA
Ah.

Daphne runs upstairs. Rayna leans against the couch. She
looks at the stairs and takes a deep breath. Rayna then
turns and walks toward the kitchen.

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

Rayna enters and is surprised by her sister, TANDY, 43.
Tandy is laid back and carefree. She wears a robe and sits
at the table. She sips coffee as she reads a newspaper. She
cuts her eyes to Rayna and then looks back at the newspaper.

TANDY
Well it’s about time you guys got
back. I thought I’d have to take
over the mortgage payments.

Rayna frowns and smiles at the same time. Tandy turns back
to Rayna and gives her a big smile. She jumps up and runs to
her. They hug.

TANDY
Just kidding! Welcome back! I am
just so happy to see my big sister.

RAYNA
And I’m thrilled to see you too,
babe.

Tandy gives Rayna an extra squeeze as Rayna drops her arms.

TANDY
Ugh. Ugh. Easy, Rayna. You’re
squeezing way too hard.

Tandy releases Rayna. She and Rayna look at each other.

RAYNA
I’m sorry. I just–I haven’t told
Deacon yet.

Tandy steps back.

TANDY
You still have said anything?

RAYNA
No, no, but don’t worry–

Rayna claps once and heads for the living room.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
I will go and tell him right now.
He’s upstairs.

Rayna leaves.

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Rayna heads toward the stairs, as she meets Deacon. She
blocks him as he moves toward the kitchen.

DEACON
‘Scuse me, babe.

RAYNA
Where are you going?

DEACON
Kitchen. Gettin’ something to
drink.

Deacon moves to walk past Rayna. She blocks him again and
then throws her arms up.

RAYNA
A little early for a drink, don’t
ya think?

DEACON
You know, I’ve heard that water is
pretty good to drink anytime.

RAYNA
And you believe everything you
hear? Good to know that the man I
married will believe anything
someone tells him.

DEACON
What is wrong with you?

Deacon chuckles and shakes his head. He walks past Rayna, as
she grabs his arm.

RAYNA
You know what? I just remembered. I
forgot to pay the water bill.

Deacon turns to face her.

DEACON
Number one, you never forget to pay
bills, and two, I just washed my
hands upstairs.

RAYNA
Well yeah, see that’s the thing.
The water company called a little
bit ago and said they would cut the
water off at precisely–

Rayna holds up her arm and looks at her watch. She cuts her
eyes to Deacon.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
Two forty-six, p.m.

Deacon raises his eyebrows.

DEACON
Well even so, there’s plenty of
water in the fridge. I’m gonna go
get some now if that’s all right
with you.

Deacon pats Rayna’s hand and pulls his arm away. He heads
into the kitchen. Rayna walks upstairs. She shrugs and takes
a deep breath.

RAYNA
Eh. Well at least now I don’t have
to tell him.

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Rayna takes clothes out of her suitcase and walks them to
her dresser. Deacon walks in.

DEACON
What is your sister doing in our
kitchen?

RAYNA
(shrugs)
Probably because she got tired of
sitting in our living room.

DEACON
You know what I mean. Where did she
come from?

Rayna smiles. She walks to the bed for more clothes.

RAYNA
Oh, honey–you didn’t get that talk
yet? See, when a man and woman
meet, sometimes they get together,
they fall in love, and they–

DEACON
Don’t get cute. Your sister is in
our kitchen.

RAYNA
Come on, babe. She’s your sister
now, too.

DEACON
In-law. Very extremely in-law. And
is there something you wanna tell
me?

RAYNA
Um–well–remember on our honeymoon
last week when I said for you to
remind me to tell you something
later on?

DEACON
Yeah?

Rayna grabs a few towels and walks to their bathroom.

RAYNA
(sings)
Someone forgot to remind me.

Deacon follows Rayna.

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS

DEACON
Oh, so this is on me for not
reminding you. Good to know. And
what exactly did I not remind you
to tell me?

RAYNA
I told her she could stay with us
for a few days–hey, look at this–

Rayna holds up two towels.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
I nabbed the “His” or “Hers” towels
from the hotel. Ya like that, huh?

Deacon frowns.

DEACON
What?! Rayna, I cannot believe you
didn’t tell me.

Rayna drops the towels and holds her hands up.

RAYNA
Fine, fine. I’ll send the stupid
towels back.

Deacon leans toward Rayna.

DEACON
(angry whisper)
That is not what I mean. Why would
you tell your sister she could stay
here? You know she hates me.

RAYNA
I don’t think she ever said she
hates you, babe.

DEACON
Nah, her language was a lot more
colorful. A few four-letter words
were used also, if I recall.

RAYNA
That’s right; a few. You make it
sound worse than it is.

DEACON
Anyway, what happened to her job in
California?

Rayna leaves the bathroom as Deacon follows.

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

RAYNA
Well unfortunately they closed some
of the offices there and she was
laid off.

DEACON
Sorry to hear that.

RAYNA
No you’re not.

DEACON
(shrugs)
Hmm. So how long will she be here?

RAYNA
It shouldn’t take her too long to
find something here. Maybe in the
next few days.

DEACON
Oh, so that’s it. You sure?

RAYNA
That’s it. Maybe a week, tops.

DEACON
All right. I supposed I can handle
that.

RAYNA
Thanks, babe–

Deacon takes his clothes out of the suitcase.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
So, have you heard anything from
your buddy Tim yet?

DEACON
Yep. He texted me last night and
said I can come down any time to
check out the guitar shop to see if
I wanna buy it from him. He’s
letting me run the shop for him
this week.

RAYNA
Well that’s great!

Rayna walks over and slides her arms around Deacon’s waist.

DEACON
Yep. You know I’ve always wanted to
have my own shop. Now I’ll have
time for it. I may need a little
help to start, but I can’t wait.

RAYNA
At least it’ll get you out of the
house during the day, too, what
with the Wicked Witch of the South
downstairs.

DEACON
Yeah, I thought I saw her broom
double-parked outside.

Deacon smiles. Rayna glares at him.

DEACON (CONT’D)
What? But you just said–

RAYNA
I was being sarcastic.

Deacon chuckles.

DEACON
Now you can’t set me up like that
and not expect me to go for it.

RAYNA
Look, just try to get along for me,
huh?

DEACON
I’ll try.

RAYNA
Thank you. And I promise, she
really won’t be so bad.

Rayna leans toward Deacon’s face and smirks.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
I’ll be all the bad you need.

DEACON
Oh is that right?

They kiss a few times. Tandy knocks on the open door.

TANDY
Excuse me, lovebirds.

Rayna looks past Deacon to Tandy as he looks up and turns
around to her. He puts on a fake smile.

DEACON
Tandy, Tandy. Good to see ya.
Again.

TANDY
You too, Mr. Rayna Jaymes.

Deacon frowns. Rayna holds back laughter. She pats Deacon on
the chest.

RAYNA
She’s kidding, babe–

Rayna walks toward Tandy.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
(to Deacon)
But you go on back down and watch
the rest of the game. My sis here
and I are goin’ out to lunch.

They all head out to the hallway.

DEACON
Yeah, well take your time. You
don’t need to hurry back.

RAYNA
Hun, you know I’m goin’ to
Vanderbilt University after that.
Going to see about that music
professor position they offered me.

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

DEACON
I know. Was talkin’ to Tandy.

Tandy turns to Deacon with her mouth open. Rayna puts a hand
up.

RAYNA
He’s kidding, Tandy.

Tandy and Deacon walk ahead down the stairs as Rayna stands
behind. She shakes her head.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
(to herself)
And how many more times will I be
saying that about the two of them?
“He’s kidding, Tandy–she’s
kidding, Deacon–he’s kidding,
Tandy–she’s kidding…”

Rayna walks downstairs.

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – MADDIE’S ROOM – DAY

Maddie cringes as she looks in the mirror and pulls up a
tight pair of jeans. Daphne walks in.

MADDIE
(whispers)
Ow!

DAPHNE
You okay?

MADDIE
Yes, I am. Get out.

Daphne enters and stands next to Maddie.

DAPHNE
Something must be wrong. Putting on
jeans doesn’t usually bring tears
to your eyes. You hold your breath
and almost pass out sometimes, but
you never cry.

MADDIE
I’m not crying.

DAPHNE
So what’s up?

Daphne looks at Maddie’s waist. She tugs on the jeans.

DAPHNE (CONT’D)
Wow, you got a pretty bad cut
there. Let me see–

MADDIE
Stop it!

Daphne pulls down a portion of Maddie’s jeans.

DAPHNE
(gasps)
You got the tattoo!

MADDIE
(whispers)
Shhh! Yeah, I got it.

DAPHNE
Mom is gonna kill you.

MADDIE
No, she won’t.

DAPHNE
Can I have all your stuff?

MADDIE
Shut up.

DAPHNE
How are you gonna hide it from her?

MADDIE
I don’t know.

DAPHNE
You could just wear sweats all the
time.

MADDIE
Nah, that won’t work.

DAPHNE
I know! You could hitch up your
pants to your chest like Steve
Urkel.

MADDIE
Who?

DAPHNE
I saw him on TV the other day.

MADDIE
Oh, so dress like somebody on
television. That’s stupid.

DAPHNE
Maybe, but I’m not the one trying
to hide a tattoo.

Daphne walks toward the door. She turns back to Maddie.

DAPHNE (CONT’D)
Don’t worry, I won’t tell Mom.

MADDIE
Thanks.

DAPHNE
Sure thing. Then again, if she does
find out, can I at least have your
TV?

Maddie glares at Daphne. Daphne holds her hands up.

DAPHNE (CONT’D)
Fine, fine. I’ll wait until a few
days after your funeral.

MADDIE
Get out.

Daphne leaves. Maddie faces back to the mirror. Deep breath.

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Deacon sits down with popcorn and watches football. Tandy
enters from the kitchen, as she eats ice cream from the
carton. Rayna walks in from outside.

DEACON
Hey, how did it go?

RAYNA
(walks toward stairs)
Great. I start in a few days.

TANDY
That’s my sis.

Tandy plops down on the couch next to Deacon. Deacon huffs.

DEACON
(at television)
Come on, Titans, let’s go. Five
minutes left and we’re down by a
touchdown.

TANDY
So who’s winning?

DEACON
We’re not, that’s who.

TANDY
Who’s got the ball?

DEACON
Titans–

Deacon leans toward the television.

ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
FIRST AND TEN FOR THE TITANS.
THERE’S THE HANDOFF–

DEACON
Go, go–yes! Eight yards.

Tandy takes a spoonful.

TANDY
Yes is right. He sure did look good
on that one, especially in those
tight pants.

Rayna turns toward them from the stairs. She holds back
laughter.

ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
AND THAT’S ANOTHER HANDOFF,
AND–HE’S UP THE MIDDLE FOR THREE
YARDS AND A TITANS FIRST DOWN.

Deacon claps.

DEACON
Yes! Yes! Let’s win this!

TANDY
Wait a second. I don’t get that.

DEACON
What don’t you get, Tandy?

Tandy takes another spoonful. She drags the spoon out of her
mouth.

TANDY
(with her mouth full)
See before, he only got eight
yards, right?

DEACON
Right.

TANDY
But you cheered harder now, even
though he only got three.

DEACON
That’s because he just picked up a first
down.

TANDY
Wasn’t it first down already?

DEACON
Why do you care, Tandy? You don’t
even like football.

TANDY
So, maybe I wouldn’t mind spending
more time with my brother-in-law.

DEACON
Oh that’ll be the day.

Rayna’s eyes widen. She walks toward the couch.

RAYNA
Uh, Deacon? Can I talk to you in
the kitchen for a second?

Deacon stands.

DEACON
Sure.
(leans toward Tandy)
Not like I’m watching a game or
anything.

Deacon follows Rayna into the kitchen.

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

Rayna walks to the refrigerator and takes out a bottled
water.

RAYNA
I just thought of something–
(takes a drink)
How ’bout Tandy work at the guitar
shop with you for a little bit?

DEACON
There must be liquor in that bottle
for you to think that’ll ever
happen.

RAYNA
Come on. You said you needed some
help there, right?

DEACON
If I’m with your sister all day,
the only help I’ll need is a bail
bondsman.

RAYNA
Deacon–

DEACON
No, Ray. Absolutely not.

RAYNA
Okay, I know she can be kind of–

DEACON
A pain in the ass.

RAYNA
Difficult. Sometimes–

DEACON
Only when she’s breathing.

RAYNA
But still–she needs something to
keep her occupied and you need help
down there. And don’t forget The
Beverly. You wanna keep your bar
going too, right?

DEACON
Oh, right. But your sister of all
people? Just about everyone in
Nashville plays the guitar. I’m
sure help wouldn’t be hard to find.

RAYNA
Come on, babe–

Rayna sits the bottle on the counter. She wraps her arms
around Deacon’s waist.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
Help me out here.

DEACON
How does this help you?

RAYNA
You saw my sister in there. She’s
depressed.

DEACON
You make that sound like a bad
thing.

Rayna slaps him on the shoulder.

RAYNA
Deacon.

DEACON
(deep sigh)
You’re lucky she’s your sister. All
right.

Rayna kisses Deacon.

RAYNA
Thanks, babe.

Rayna follows him toward the living room. Deacon turns
around.

DEACON
But I’m telling you, Rayna. I can’t
promise–

RAYNA
That you won’t kill her? I know, I
know. She says the same about you, at least every five minutes.
Go on.

Rayna gives Deacon a shove toward the door.

INT. GUITAR SHOP – DAY

Guitars of all colors and varieties cover the walls. Deacon
stands behind the counter and plucks a few strings of a
damaged guitar. He tunes the guitar and looks up at Tandy,
who pulls one guitar from the wall. She frowns as she looks
at the others. Deacon looks up and then back down at his
guitar.

DEACON
What are ya doin’ Tandy?

TANDY
I just wanna know who organized
these guitars. It’s a mess. Here,
let me–
(looks elsewhere)
There we go. I’ll put this red one
over here with the other red one.
Now let me get this blue one of the
way–

Tandy sits down the red guitar and reaches for the blue
guitar. Deacon sits his guitar on the counter and rushes
around to her.

DEACON
Tandy, this ain’t a clothing store.
They’re arranged by type, not
color. Give me this–

Deacon hangs the blue guitar back onto the wall.

DEACON (CONT’D)
Okay, look. This is where all the
steel string acoustic guitars go.
Right there, the classical ones.
Then over there, that’s where I’m
going to put our second shipment of
the electric–

Tandy walks away in another direction.

DEACON (CONT’D)
Where are you going?

TANDY
Why not put all the blue ones over
here and then–

DEACON
Haven’t you heard a word I’ve said?
Not by color, Tandy. This is how
customers are going to look for
them; by type.

TANDY
I just think it will look prettier
in here if there’s some kind of
color coordination going on.

DEACON
You do this on purpose, don’t you?

TANDY
What? What am I doing?

Tandy reaches down to an amplifier. She begins to plug it
into the wall.

DEACON
What you usually do–No! No, don’t
plug that in there.

TANDY
Why not?

DEACON
My buddy Tim said that there’s a
short in that outlet. I got an
electrician coming over in a few
days to fix it.

A male CUSTOMER, late 20s, enters. Deacon leaves Tandy to
greet him.

DEACON (CONT’D)
(to the customer)
Hey, how’s it goin’? Anything I can
help you find?

CUSTOMER
Getting my first guitar.

DEACON
Ah, all right. Let me take you over
here–

Deacon and the customer walk as Tandy follows.

DEACON (CONT’D)
Okay, so for starters, you always
want to begin with the six-string
acoustic here. This is your basic
guitar and will toughen up your
fingers for when you’re ready for
something else.

Tandy looks the customer up and down.

TANDY
(shakes head)
Mm-mm. Nah, you’re more of a blue
type of guy. See this guitar right
over here?

DEACON
Tandy, I got this.

CUSTOMER
Oh, wait. I would like to see that
one.

The customer turns and walks with Tandy. She turns to Deacon
and smirks. Deacon lets out a deep breath.

INT. GUITAR SHOP – LATER

Deacon hands the customer his receipt and guitar in the
case. The customer exits.

DEACON
(to the customer)
Thanks for stopping by. Come on
back and see us.

Tandy smiles.

TANDY
See? Good thing you have me here.

DEACON
You’re bragging now?

TANDY
(struts)
Yep. I think I have a knack for
this.

DEACON
A knack for what?

TANDY
Listen, all I know is that he was
about to get the cheaper guitar and
thanks to me, he walked away
putting more money in your pocket.
You’re welcome.

DEACON
Tandy, this ain’t about the money.
I was tryin’ to help the kid out
and get him started the right way.

TANDY
Ya know, making money is sort of my
thing. In case you’ve forgotten, I
did Rayna’s books for a lot of
years at Highway Sixty-Five.

DEACON
How could I forget?

TANDY
Plus, no one wants those boring old
brown guitars. I’ve never liked
those things anyway. These people
want some color in their lives.

Deacon glares at Tandy.

TANDY (CONT’D)
Well they do–
(holds hands up)
Fine, fine. I’ll be good. I
promise.

DEACON
You promise?

TANDY
(holds three fingers up)
Scout’s Honor.

INT. GUITAR SHOP – LATER

Deacon huffs. Tandy chats with another customer.

TANDY (O.S.)
So you’re gonna want this one here.
It goes with pretty much any
outfit.

INT. GUITAR SHOP – LATER

Deacon shakes his head.

TANDY (O.S.)
(to another customer)
Really? Orange? Nah. That’s not
your color. How about this red one?

INT. GUITAR SHOP – LATER

Deacon walks over to Tandy.

TANDY (O.S.)
(to another customer)
Yes, yes! This electric guitar will
be the perfect one for you to start
with.

The FEMALE CUSTOMER, 80, is short, fraile and looks as if
going blind. She squints as she leans toward the electric
guitar.

DEACON
Uh, Tandy–I don’t think this is
the one she’ll want.

FEMALE CUSTOMER
Says who, Sonny?

DEACON
(nervous laughter)
I was just sayin’, you know, this
one’s a little heavier and we have
quite a few others here that are
good for you to begin with.

Rayna enters. The female customer holds her cane to Deacon’s
chest. Rayna’s eyes widen.

FEMALE CUSTOMER
Look here, punk. Just how much time
do you think I have? I know I look
like a spring chicken still, but I
ain’t.

Rayna looks away. She then cuts her eyes back to them.

TANDY
(shakes her head)
Men–
(leans toward female customer)
Always tryin’ to control us.

FEMALE CUSTOMER
You got that right.

DEACON
No, Ma’am. Not at all. I was just–

FEMALE CUSTOMER
(to Deacon)
You just zip it, young man. I’ve
heard enough outta you–
(to Tandy)
All right, plug this sucker in.
Where’s the cord–

The female customer looks down at a trash can. Tandy moves
her to an amplifier.

TANDY
Uh, heh. No, no, Ma’am. Right over
here.

FEMALE CUSTOMER
Yes, I knew that. All right. Plug
her on in here. Let’s see how much
this hearing aid can handle.

Deacon rushes to Tandy.

DEACON
No! Tandy, remember, you can’t plug
it in right–

The female customer starts whacking Deacon with her cane.

DEACON (CONT’D)
Ah! Ma’am, I’m just–the outlet–

FEMALE CUSTOMER
I said I’ve had enough of you. You
stop telling her what to do–

Tandy chuckles and looks at Rayna. Rayna steps in between
them.

RAYNA
Hey, hello. Hi. Ma’am. Can I,
uh–borrow the punk for a second?
Tandy, could you, please?

Tandy directs the female customer away from them. Rayna
closes her mouth and attempts not to laugh.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
So how’s it going?

Deacon glares at her.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
That good, huh?

DEACON
This is your fault.

RAYNA
Me?

DEACON
I got old ladies in here beating on
me. Yes, you.

RAYNA
Look, hun, I know my sister can be
a mess, but she told me on the
phone earlier that she helped you
get rid of some of your expensive
guitars; the ones you told me you
were having trouble selling.
I don’t see anything wrong with
that.

DEACON
Yeah, it’s all fun and games with your sister until
I’m being addressed as “The
Defendant.”

RAYNA
Oh, stop. Now I got the girls in
the truck. How about let’s head out
to dinner? You about done in here?

Sudden guitar BLAST. Rayna and Deacon jump.

FEMALE CUSTOMER (O.S.)
I’ll take it!

Deacon looks away and huffs. Rayna pats him on the shoulder.

RAYNA
We’ll be out here, babe.

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Upscale. Jazz music plays in the background. Dim, yet
soothing ambiance. Rayna, Deacon, Tandy, Maddie and Daphne
finish their last bites. Mouths are wiped with napkins.

DEACON
That was great. Great idea to come
here, honey.

RAYNA
Yeah, Bucky told me about this
place being a good idea to check
out–

Maddie winces in her seat.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
(to Maddie)
Sweetheart, you sure you’re okay?
You must’ve had a nasty fall in
your gym class today.

MADDIE
I said I’m fine. Just a bruise, no
big deal.

RAYNA
If you say so.

DAPHNE
So, how was the guitar shop today, Deacon?

DEACON
(looks down at plate)
I got beat up by an old lady.

Everyone laughs.

DEACON
(head snaps up)
What? That’s funny to y’all?

RAYNA
(pats Deacon on shoulder)
Now, now, y’all, go easy on him,
and Deacon, next time, don’t bob
when you’re supposed to weave.

They all continue to laugh.

DEACON
I’m glad you’re all enjoying this.

RAYNA
Look, I’m just glad you and Tandy
didn’t kill each other today.

TANDY
Oh, I didn’t need to. That old lady
almost did that herself.

Everyone laughs again. Deacon is annoyed, but holds back a
smile. Maddie drops her fork and leans over to pick it up.
Rayna looks over at her.

RAYNA
My God, Maddie. That’s a pretty big
bruise.

MADDIE
Mom, stop.

RAYNA
I just wanna see how bad–

Rayna exposes the tattoo.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
(leans in)
Wait, does that say, “Jer–“?

She glares at Maddie. Maddie folds her arms.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
(raises voice)
You did not get this tattoo when I
specifically told you not to.

Maddie stares straight ahead.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
Oh, you’re gonna sit there and not
answer me?

MADDIE
Mom. I’m not a baby. I didn’t see
anything wrong with it.

RAYNA
I told you what was wrong with it.

MADDIE
Mom–stop shouting.

Rayna looks around and then leans toward Maddie.

RAYNA
(angry whisper)
You know what? How ’bout you go
take yourself out to the car and
get out of my sight?

MADDIE
(rolls eyes)
Whatever.

Maddie throws her napkin onto the table. She storms out.
Rayna looks at the others at the table. She shakes her head.

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – MADDIE’S ROOM – NIGHT

Maddie lies on the bed. Daphne sits next to her.

DAPHNE
At least I didn’t tell.

MADDIE
So what? She knows now anyway. And
I’m dead.

DAPHNE
I told you. Steve Urkel.

Maddie shakes her head. Rayna walks in.

RAYNA
Daphne, can you step out, please? I
need to talk to your sister.

DAPHNE
Sure, Mom.

Daphne runs out. Rayna closes the door behind her.

RAYNA
Okay. I think you need to get up
off that bed and explain why you
blatantly defied me.

MADDIE
You don’t understand.

Rayna moves toward Maddie.

RAYNA
Oh no, we’re not doing this.
Everything is not gonna be met with
saying that I don’t understand. I
understand way more than you think.

Maddie sits up.

MADDIE
What do you have against tattoos?

RAYNA
Nothing, but you just need to be
absolutely sure before you get
them, that’s all. Especially when
it’s the name of someone you’re
dating.

MADDIE
But I am sure.

RAYNA
You are? Hmm, okay–

Rayna looks up in the air.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
So what else do you know about this
boy? What’s his favorite color?
What foods does he like? Does he
have a middle name?

MADDIE
Mom.

RAYNA
I just want to hear how sure you
are that this was a good idea.

MADDIE
I would eventually find all that
out.

RAYNA
Not if you two break up–and not to
mention, I’ve never even met this
guy. Neither has your father.

Maddie sighs and rolls her eyes.

MADDIE
Right. I didn’t think about that.

RAYNA
Listen, baby. I’m your mother for a
reason. I’m not just here to make
your life miserable; I’m here to
help you enjoy it a little bit and
to teach you some things along the
way.

MADDIE
I gotcha.

RAYNA
Then there’s your dad downstairs.
He’s still sort of getting used the
idea of you being his daughter.
Don’t you think he’d like to be
part of things like this, too?

MADDIE
Right, right. Ow!

RAYNA
Careful.

MADDIE
When is all this pain supposed to
stop?

RAYNA
My guess is when you move out of
the house.

MADDIE
What?

RAYNA
Oh, you mean your pain? Beats me.

MADDIE
Ha-ha. Well, thanks for not killing
me.

They hug.

RAYNA
Well you’re welcome–but you’re
still grounded.

MADDIE
Figures. How long?

RAYNA
I’m thinking until your first born
get their first tattoo.

Maddie jumps back.

MADDIE
Mom!

RAYNA
Hey, I could’ve said your second
born.

MADDIE
Fine, fine. I’m grounded for the
rest of my life.

RAYNA
I’ll get back to you in a month.

MADDIE
Hey Mom?

RAYNA
Yeah?

MADDIE
Who is Steve Urkel?

RAYNA
Why?

MADDIE
(laughs)
Daphne said I should wear my pants
like him so you wouldn’t see this.

RAYNA
So Daphne knew about this?

MADDIE
Uh–

Rayna stands and walks toward the door.

RAYNA
Oh–Daphne!

MADDIE
(whispers)
Oops.

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – THEIR BATHROOM – NIGHT

Deacon walks in as Rayna brushes her teeth.

DEACON
That girl is funny.

RAYNA
Yeah, a barrel of laughs for you
and a head of gray hair for me.

Rayna turns off the water and dries her face.

DEACON
Well don’t worry. I’m here now and
we can weather these teenage storms
together. Guess it’s good that I
found out she was mine just in time
for all this, right?

Deacon smirks.

RAYNA
(pushes him out of the
bathroom)
Not funny.

INT. RAYNA AND DEACON’S HOUSE – THEIR BEDROOM – NIGHT

DEACON
Hey! Well, I guess now we have to
check this Jerry out and see what
he’s all about.

RAYNA
I suppose.

Rayna walks to the dresser and puts lotion on her hands.
Deacon’s cell phone is there and vibrates.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
Hey, someone’s calling you.

Deacon goes and answers.

DEACON
Hello? Yeah this is Deacon
Claybourne…wait, what?! The hell,
are you sure?! Okay, I’ll be right
there–

Deacon hangs up and rushes to their closet. He puts on a
sweat shirt.

RAYNA
What’s wrong, babe?

DEACON
The guitar shop, it’s on fire!
The fire department’s puttin’ it out now.

RAYNA
Oh my God! You want me to come with
you?

DEACON
No, I got it. Damn it! I told your
sister not to plug anything in that
damn outlet.

RAYNA
What outlet?

DEACON
I’ll tell you later, Ray. I gotta
get down here.

Deacon rushes out. Rayna looks into the mirror.

DEACON (V.O.)
And there you have it, Dr. Watson–

BACK TO PRESENT

DEACON (CONT’D)
Her sister purposely set my shop on
fire. I kept telling her about the
short in that outlet.

Rayna looks away.

DEACON (O.S.)
Now we have much bigger damn
problems–

RAYNA
Uh, what outlet?

DEACON
The one where Tandy and the old
lady were. Before she starting
whalin’ on me, I was trying to tell
Tandy again not to plug anything in
there because of the short.

RAYNA
Uh, heh–

Rayna looks at Dr. Watson.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
Funny thing–
(back to Deacon)
About that–uh, well, before we
left the shop, I went back in–

FLASHBACK TO:

INT. GUITAR SHOP – NIGHT

Rayna is in the shop alone. She walks toward the door and
notices the amplifier plug fall out of the outlet.

RAYNA
Oh–

She walks over to plug it back in.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
There we go.

She walks out. The lights go out. Shortly, there are sparks
at the outlet.

BACK TO PRESENT

DEACON
Wait. That was you?!

RAYNA
(frowns)
Baby, I’m so sorry.

DEACON
Rayna!

RAYNA
I–I didn’t know the stupid outlet
had a short. Of course I wouldn’t
have plugged it back in if I knew
that!

DEACON
All this time I thought Tandy did
it. But hell, it doesn’t matter. My
shop is burned to the ground. And
all those guitars are ruined.

Rayna gently grabs Deacon’s hand. She looks at her watch.

RAYNA
Well, Dr. Watson, thank you. I
think our time is up and uh, my
husband here and I have some
talking to do.

DR. WATSON
Oh, yes, yes. Absolutely.

DEACON
(to Dr. Watson)
Yeah, thanks.

Deacon stands and heads for the door. Rayna follows. They
walk out. Dr. Watson looks down at his notes. Rayna enters
again and walks toward their seats.

RAYNA
Oh hey; I can’t find my phone. Just
back to see if–oh, here it is.

DR. WATSON
(looking at notes)
You know, that was awfully nice of
you.

RAYNA
What do you mean?

DR. WATSON
Defending your sister like that.

RAYNA
What are you talking about?

DR. WATSON
(looks up)
You didn’t go back and plug
anything in, did you?

RAYNA
What makes you say that?

DR. WATSON
Well, you said you went back into
the shop, right?

RAYNA
Right.

DR. WATSON
Where was Deacon?

RAYNA
He was there to lock up behind me.

DR. WATSON
And–he didn’t see you plug
anything back in?

RAYNA
(shrugs)
Men. What can I tell ya? No
attention span, ya know? Heh.
(gives Dr. Watson playful slap
on arm)
Just kidding.

DR. WATSON
(blank stare)
Also, you asked about the outlet
when he first told you about the
fire in your bedroom and then a
little bit ago. Surely he would
have told you since then, but you
just asked like you didn’t know.

RAYNA
(throws hands up)
Okay, fine. My sister did
eventually tell me that the outlet
had a short and well, when we left,
I saw that she didn’t unplug it.
But I didn’t know about it then.

DR. WATSON
So you decided to say it was you.

RAYNA
(looks at her phone)
Dr. Watson–you ever been married?

DR. WATSON
Once, yes.

RAYNA
How long?

DR. WATSON
Five years.

RAYNA
So you know all about picking your
battles, right?

Dr. Watson leans back and smiles. He nods. Rayna looks at
the door and sits in her seat. She leans toward him.

RAYNA (CONT’D)
I have the money to take care of
the shop and to replace the
guitars. So that’s not a problem.
Plus, Deacon will forgive me a lot
easier than he will my sister. And
with her staying there for a few
more days–ya know–

DR. WATSON
Understood. Fair enough.

RAYNA
Good day, Dr. Watson.

DR. WATSON
Thanks for coming by.

Rayna stands and walks toward the door.

DR. WATSON (CONT’D)
Oh, Rayna?

RAYNA
(turns around)
Yes?

DR. WATSON
(stands)
If you don’t mind me asking, what
were you two disagreeing about
before we started this?

RAYNA
Oh that?
(waves him off)
That was just about where we
parked.

Rayna turns and walks toward the door.

DR. WATSON
Oh. I figured it was just old–

Rayna spins to face him.

DR. WATSON (CONT’D)
I mean, uh, young–married couple
stuff.

Rayna smiles. She exits.

FADE OUT

END OF SHOW

 

 

 

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One Response to Want a “Rayna-Deacon” Sitcom? Here It Is

  1. Pingback: #BringBackNashville: What The Show Has Meant To This City Boy | People's Court

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