#HeterosexualPrideDay: To the #LGBT Community, From A Straight Man, My Apologies For Our Gross Intolerance


I’ve been a user of social media for more than ten years now. So at this point, there isn’t a lot that surprises me anymore. Not much ceases to amaze.

However, this morning, I checked Twitter and noticed the hashtag #HeterosexualPrideDay. Now, among all the insanely ridiculous hashtags, this one is near the top.

At first, I thought it was a joke. People can’t really be this dense, can they?

Yes, they can. As a straight man, no, I didn’t cheer to myself when I saw it. I couldn’t believe it. Don’t get me wrong; this isn’t the first time I was surprised by a ridiculous hashtag on Twitter. There are a lot of people out there who have absolutely nothing better to do with their time than to sit on social media all day. With that, comes these silly trends and hashtags. I’ll be 37 next week, so I’m well-aware of how things like this work.

It’s not so much that it’s just silly. Not that I enjoy spending a ton of time on this kind of thing, but I took a little bit just to look up what some of those who support this have said. Thankfully, I’ve seen more who do not support than those who do. However, the excuses and comebacks are lame to say the least.

The fact that a hashtag like this even exists exhibits gross intolerance from those of us in the heterosexual community. And for that, members of the LGBT community, you have my apologies that you had to see this.

I am a huge supporter of the LGBT community. I have 234 gay male friends and 461 female friends who are…kidding, people. I have no idea how many friends I have who are gay because I don’t keep tabs. I look at each of them as people. Sexual preference doesn’t cause me to lose sleep. I don’t ask my fellow heterosexual friends and acquaintances about their sexual partners.

So why should I or anyone else care about a homosexual’s sex life? News flash: We shouldn’t.

Of course, being an intelligent man, I know that there will be no real traction on something like this. I’m not expecting for there to be any “Heterosexual Pride Parade” or anything like that. This is nothing more than yet another way for folks with nothing better to do than beat their chests on social media.

But for those of you who don’t understand how ridiculous this is, let me break it down for you:

For one, a hashtag like this is a huge slap in the face to the #LGBT community. There is obviously a major difference and reason as to why Gay Pride Parades exist for them and something similar doesn’t exist for us. It’s sad that a bunch of supposed grown adults, whether you support the LGBT community or not, have such a hard time understanding this.

The reason they need a pride day, week and/or month and we don’t is simply this. They are attacked for who they are. Verbally, physically and psychologically. They are heavily discriminated against. They are misunderstood. People, far too often, think homosexuality is a “phase” or a “choice.” That would be like someone telling me that I’m “choosing” to be black, or that calling myself an African-American is a phase.

Civil rights was needed back in the day because of the fact that black men and women were not treated equally. There was a little more of something that needed to be done to gain this equality. Obviously there wasn’t a civil rights movement for white people because it wasn’t necessary. White people did not have an issue with basic rights.

If even that is too theoretical to accept, then think of it this way: Are homeless shelters for people who have homes? How about soup kitchens? Are there signs up to say that people who have a kitchen full of groceries are allowed to eat there? How about hospitals? If I go in there and want the same care as others, even though I’m not injured, what sense does that make?

Now someone who doesn’t agree is going to claim those are bad comparisons. But they’re really not. It’s the same thing. We as heterosexuals aren’t attacked because of this. We can wake up, go about our lives and go to bed each night. To announce that we are heterosexual will not mean much to people because the majority of us are. It’s that simple.

Someone said to me on Twitter: “You don’t have to be oppressed to have pride.” That is correct. You don’t have to be oppressed to display pride. However, how much “pride” did you have in being heterosexual before Gay Pride parades? Hell, were you even thinking about displaying this “pride” prior to seeing this hashtag?

I didn’t think so.

I asked someone how they planned on “celebrating” this “Heterosexual Pride Day.” His response, “By having hetero sex.” Seriously? So what, you couldn’t do that before? Not to mention, during LGBT Pride day/week/month, you don’t hear gays running around and saying “We’re going to have gay sex!” No. So this comment from my fellow heterosexual (and likely homophobe) was asinine. An attempt to be funny that fell embarrassingly flat.

Seeing as to how I have a full-time job and better things to do, I obviously don’t have time to sit there and look at how many other ridiculous responses there are in support of this. But what I’ve concluded is that this could be a lack of understanding, but even more so, a gross intolerance.

A hashtag like this only exists as a way of “sticking it” to the LGBT community. Not one person had it in their minds to want to show pride or to “come out” as a heterosexual until the LGBT community began doing so. Then, being the attention whores that many people are, some heterosexuals, in their pitiful attempts to hide their bigotry and homophobia, decided to try and “demand” that they as straight folks receive the same kind of attention that gays do.

But how does that even make sense?

Why is it “brave” for a person to come out as gay? Because we’re not attacked in multiple ways for being straight. Is a person who stands on a drug dealer’s corner as business is being conducted braver than a person who stands on an empty corner? Of course they are, because of what’s taking place. The LGBT person is on that drug dealer’s corner and we as straight folks are on the corner where we aren’t being messed with at all. So there’s no bravery for us to stand there. But it IS for them, whether we as heterosexuals want to admit that or not. It is utterly dangerous (to say the least) for them to stand there. And if you don’t believe that, go to an inner city sometime and find a corner where drugs are being sold. Stand there for a minute (if the good Lord allows) and if you get out of there in one piece, go stand on an empty corner and tell me you don’t feel the difference.

When we were younger, we didn’t have to hide the fact that we were straight. How excited did our friends and (eww) parents get when we had our first crush on that person of the opposite sex? We weren’t “disowned” or beaten up for it. We did what most others did. We liked a person of the opposite sex. Those in the LGBT community didn’t and don’t have that luxury.

Family wants nothing to do with a gay family member. Friends are embarrassed to know you. Since most of us (at least I’m pretty sure of it) don’t want to lose our family and/or friends, many would choose not to say or do anything that would cause them to go away. Even if that means hiding what could potentially lead to this happening, most would hide the fact that they’re gay if it means they could lose the people they love.

As a straight man, I don’t have to keep that from people. I go about my business without thinking twice. I don’t have to worry about people being overly concerned with what happens in my bedroom. Even if my wife and I are in public with our two children, no one says a word. They pretty much get the idea. They mind their business.

But how about when a gay couple does pretty much anything? The looks, the whispers…what about all that? Don’t tell me we have it the same way, because we absolutely do not.

So again, while I know this hashtag is complete garbage and will disappear shortly, the intolerance from my fellow straight folks is embarrassing and there really are no words for this kind of behavior. To those of you in the LGBT community, once again, I offer my deepest apologies for this nonsense. If this is the first time you’re seeing this, then I apologize for that as well. I’m sorry that you had to see any of this at all.

It’s a shame that so many heterosexuals are so insecure about their sexuality that they get so up in arms about the LGBT community even existing. And yes, it’s insecurity. Why would you be that concerned with what goes on in a gay person’s bedroom?

When you walk down the street, you can’t just look at someone and tell that they’re gay. Yes, I’m aware of what television has done to most of us, but most folks in the LGBT community, unless they have a rainbow flag/other items with them or they display it in some way, you would never know they were gay.

And before any of you geniuses say, “Yes, I know if a woman is gay; because she has short hair!” shut up. I can’t tell you how many women have said to me that they prefer to cut their hair short so there is less to deal with. Hell, my wife has cut her hair short for that reason also. Not to mention, there are a LOT of women with long hair who are part of the LGBT community. Hairstyle is not the end-all on deciding a person’s sexuality.

The bottom line is this: If you can see my wife and I in public and not be concerned of what goes on in our bedroom, why in the hell are you worried about what goes on in the bedroom of LGBT folks? Do you really have so little going for you that you need to try and put a damper on someone else, all because you’re too ignorant to understand?

This hashtag…well, there’s my answer.

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