This one may actually surprise some of you who know me, because unless I am speaking to you personally, I usually stay away from publicly talking about this kind of topic. Not for any reason in particular, so I would almost say that I’m surprised I hadn’t written about this much sooner than now.
I’ll get right to the point, since apparently, there are way too many men out there who have no problem doing so themselves. You know exactly what I mean, which is likely why you opened this blog post to begin with.
Unsolicited explicit pictures to random women.
Men…STOP DOING THIS.
Periodically (WAY too damn periodically), I either read a story about or see that a woman has complained about a man who has done this. I am seriously at a loss for words.
Personally, I’m a relatively shy person. I’m not all that about even taking a selfie. So THIS…no way in hell. I’m not even sure if my wife of 17 years could get me to send her something like this.
I suppose there’s ONE minor thing I can give those of you who do this credit for and that’s just the fact that you’re brave enough to think this is a good idea in some kind of way.
Then again, saying that is likely heard to be the equivalent of “Keep doing it.”
My own shyness aside, why do some of you do this? Seriously, if you have the nerve to send a random woman this kind of pic of “yourself,” then explaining why should be easy.
Now before any of you decide to blame the woman you’re sending the pic to, DON’T. That’s pathetic. You’re a grown ass man. A woman, especially one you know very little about, shouldn’t have that kind of control over you.
The way a woman looks and/or dresses is NO excuse. None. So don’t use that one, either.
But at just what point does it hit your mind to say, “Yep…it’s that time to send her this”?
Right, because when a woman says “Hello” on social media, adds you as a friend or follows you in some kind of way, that’s practically third base. NOW I get it. And Lord forbid they “like” or “share” something you post. You might as well head out and buy the condoms right now, because she’s obviously heading straight to your house to get it on.
I know a LOT of attractive women and I’m taking a wild guess that of all the things they wouldn’t mind seeing from me, and explicit picture is NOT one of them. I cannot imagine a single scenario in which one would accept something like this.
While I’m poking (no pun intended) a little fun at this, it really is no laughing matter and downright embarrassing, to say the least. Just another way that women are disrespected by men and as a man myself, I’m seriously ashamed of those of you who call yourself men and find this appropriate.
Again, my wife and I have been married long enough that we call other people some form of “attractive” all the time and it’s no big deal. But I barely even do that much to other women, especially since I often have no idea if she would even be okay with it and men, NO, she does NOT have to just “accept” the compliment of being called any form of the word. That’s another thing that irks me.
There are men out there who would compliment a woman and feel they should bow before our feet because we gave them that compliment. No…they shouldn’t. Not even close. It’s up to HER as to how she feels about what we say to them. You can’t just “force” them to be all right with it.
But men…we really have to do better than this. Of ALL the ways we can look to impress a woman, surely a dick pic is NOT the best you can come up with, correct?
Try being respectful. Adult (not that kind of “adult”) conversation. Be cordial. Find out what interests her and see if you can find some common ground to break the ice. Hell, even get crazy enough to try, “Hi…my name is…”
Contrary to unpopular belief, women are not just sitting around online all day and waiting for pics like this. It’s just baffling to me. And the lame explanation is that apparently, the prettier the woman, the more she will want it or the more accepting she will be of it.
‘The hell?! How does that even make sense?
Call me crazy, but the more attractive I find a woman, the less likely I am to compliment her and mainly just because I figure she’s already tired of hearing it. Even if I decide to do it, I aim to be as respectful as possible. I often say, “If you don’t mind me saying so…” Most of the time, it’s okay, but I leave it at that. I don’t continue to push, however much she might be okay with it. That’s just a personal thing with me.
I can even understand (almost) if you were someone younger and had this twisted notion in your mind that that’s what most women online wanted. At one point when I first began using the internet, the impression many gave me was that only “certain people” used it for this reason or that reason. I was intelligent enough to know better, but I can see how some would think this or that.
The sad thing is, there are older men doing this who DEFINITELY should know better. A friend of mine on Facebook recently mentioned that someone else did it to her and this time, I chose to ask what the age groups were, if she didn’t mind telling me. She said all over the place.
But seriously…STOP doing this. There is no good reason to do so. Unless you know the woman intimately (NOT if you “wish” this; BIG difference) and she asks for it, DO NOT send it to her. I have a good feeling it will NOT be pretty; both the pic itself AND the outcome.
Just think of the worst thing that could happen if you did send this to her. Seriously. If people did this more often, that would stop a LOT of foolishness. So before you send an unsolicited explicit pic of yourself to a strange woman, think about it for a while.
It’s about having some respect for women. But most importantly, having some damn respect for YOURSELF.
And I already know what some of you are thinking. “Oh shut up, Robert. Stop trying to be a white knight. These women won’t sleep with you just because you’re defending them.”
Right. I should stop defending women all because they won’t sleep with me. Because for you to send a dick pic that she didn’t ask for isn’t expecting her to sleep with you AT ALL.