Yesterday, a Facebook friend posted this on her timeline, to the effect: “You are more likely to reach your goals if you don’t talk about them.” I wasn’t really sure if that was sarcasm or meant to be serious.
I would like to believe that to an extent, we all want success in some kind of way and no, success is NOT all about money. Let’s just get that out of the way.
We can want success for a lot of reasons. Money is one, yes, but there’s also career success, educational success, family successes, success as far as your health is concerned, and you get the idea.
With respect to my Facebook friend, there seems to be quite a few people out there with this mindset of keeping success and your goals “quiet” for some reason. This was the first time I ever saw that apparently, it is more “likely” that you’ll reach your goals if you don’t talk about them.
But here’s why I feel that if you are shooting for success in any fashion and you reach goals, whether short or long-term, that you should talk about them as often as you would like.
Why should you keep quiet about it? I’ve never understood this. So you bust your ass to make something happen and it’s taken you a week, several weeks, months, years, etc. Why in the hell NOT be excited about it and TELL PEOPLE? Especially on social media. I never realized there were “rules” concerning what you’re allowed to talk about with others, especially those you are “friends” with.
You should always be proud of your accomplishments. My thinking is that as long as you are not just blatantly putting someone down because of the fact that they aren’t where you are, then there is no reason you shouldn’t be proud of what you’ve been able to do. Success is difficult. Goals are tough and in some cases, seemingly impossible to reach. I really don’t see the harm in wanting to shout it from the rooftops.
In talking with certain people, the thinking with some is that to speak so often about accomplishments is not humble. The dictionary defines humility as: “A modest or low view of ones importance; the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people.”
So, in being proud of your accomplishments and as long as you aren’t presenting yourself as better than someone else, what’s the problem?
Another reason I feel we should speak up about our successes is simply because of this. Those folks who want to try to tell you not to do so would be the same ones to NOT tell you to keep your drama to yourself also. In other words, I seriously doubt that the same ones who want you to keep your accomplishments quiet would be saying the same about the things going wrong in your life. I could talk about the areas in which I’ve been successful and naturally, it would bother some people. Yet, I have a good feeling that if I were to jump on Facebook and talk about an argument my wife of 17 years and I recently had, those same folks wouldn’t suggest that I keep it quiet. They would likely grab the popcorn.
In my opinion, it mainly boils down to jealousy. It’s something a lot of people wouldn’t admit to, but when people are not where they would like to be and/or there’s really not much movement happening, it will bother them to see that others aren’t in that same boat. For example, for me as an aspiring professional screenwriter, even though this does not apply to me, this means that it would potentially bother me to see my fellow screenwriters talk about having work produced, their films being made, or meeting this actor or that actor. But in my case, it’s motivation for me to continue to push forward and to make it happen for myself. However, not everyone thinks this way. Some simply don’t want to see it from other people. Of course, they’ll come up with all kinds of reasons to justify it, but the bottom line is that if you are successful in any kind of way, there is SOME reason for you to NOT speak about it.
I understand that there are people out there who think that they are better than other people each time they accomplish anything. Again, that’s not what I mean here. I’m merely talking about those who speak about it. Once more, speaking of myself, I don’t talk about accomplishments as a way of rubbing them in anyone’s face, despite the number of folks over the years who have taken it that way. I speak about them to encourage. To motivate. I get that not everyone thinks the way I do, but the best motivation for me is when I see others accomplishing what I’m trying to accomplish myself. It lets me know that I have hope; that it IS possible. I understand difficulty and all that, but it just feels within reach if I see others doing it. That, and the fact that I just LOVE to see people doing well.
People, especially on social media, are not forced to read about your successes and accomplishments. But somehow, many act as if they have guns pointed to their heads.
It’s not your fault if they are jealous. You’re not telling them to be. How THEY feel is up to them. You’re not responsible for that. You are also not responsible for where they are in life. Yes, in certain situations, we should exhibit sympathy and empathy for others, but that doesn’t mean that again, it is YOUR fault people are where they are, nor should you sell yourself short because of it.
I cannot imagine there is any kind of science behind the notion that a person is more likely to be successful if they don’t talk about it. Sure, there are those people who talk and talk and talk about it, but the talking isn’t what killed that person’s chances of success. The motivation wasn’t there. The drive didn’t exist. They didn’t sacrifice to get there. There was no work ethic. And so on. The talking is not directly correlated with the lack of success as I feel my Facebook friend may or may not have been seriously suggesting.
With all the negativity in the world today, what is the harm in talking about success? Something GOOD? I honestly see no harm. And you never know who is paying attention to you. There are MANY people out there who want to be successful.
How would they EVER know what it’s like if no one ever spoke about it?