How And When Exactly Did The Responsibility Become OURS?

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There are so many instances where it’s clear who is responsible for something taking place. However, over time, that responsibility somehow completely shifts elsewhere. How exactly does this happen? And when?

Here are a few such instances:

Restaurant Tipping

No, tipping isn’t mandatory.  I don’t care what anyone tells you or how angry they sound as they say it. At some point in history, tipping began as optional for exceptional service. Now, many get called everything in the book when tipping doesn’t happen or as “much” as some feel it needs to.

Researching this, I’ve found average hourly wages to be anywhere between $3 and $11. But it doesn’t even matter at this very moment. For the sake of this particular conversation, let’s use the lowest amount. The biggest argument FOR tips is because of servers being underpaid. So why do people get angry at customers for this? I know what all the percentages are and all the empty threats made (usually on social media only) toward those who don’t tip or do so poorly. But I’m talking angry. Why at customers? Why not the management? Very little is said about restaurant management in comparison, but they are the ones who choose pay initial salaries like these, for those unfortunate enough to be there. So why isn’t more being said to and about them? If a person chooses to leave absolutely NO tip whatsoever, yes, you can call them everything but a child of God if that makes you feel better. But much of that is misguided. If I “tipped” every single occupation I come in contact with in the course of a day that some feel are underpaid, I would go broke. At what point did paying someone’s salary become MY responsibility?

Speeding Tickets

People talk all the time about cops and trying to make quotas at certain times during the month and that being the belief as to why tickets are handed out more often than at other times. Even if that’s true and folks aren’t just guessing, so what? Don’t we still have to actually speed to get the tickets?

We blame the cops for the fact that we were given tickets. Very seldom do I hear people complain that a ticket was wrongly issued, as in they were absolutely NOT speeding.  Of course, people could just lie and say they weren’t, but the ironic thing is, most that I’ve noticed who fuss about this are at least upfront about the fact that they actually were speeding. So who’s responsibility is it to NOT receive tickets? Ours or that of law enforcement? However much you may not agree, we’re angry at them for doing their jobs. Not to mention, if the whole quota thing is so well-known and we are so certain of this, isn’t that more of a reason to make sure we’re doing the right thing? Say what you want, but it isn’t as though you’re unaware of the speed limit or don’t know when you’re doing it. With that in mind, the responsibility is completely on YOU when tickets happen. Period.

Bullying

This is like a dirty word to some people. Yes, I know…it has happened since the beginning of time. But these days, the ones who are bullied catch more hell than those who do the bullying. How is that? So let’s take responsibility completely from those who choose to be jerks and bully others, and lay it on those who either want to speak up against it or maybe aren’t able to handle it as well as we can. It is more on the victims of bullying to get away from it or to ignore it than it is for those who bully. I’m not talking about those who eventually become brave enough to fight back. That’s a good thing. I’m talking about those who may not be able to do well with it for whatever reason. This isn’t the time for all the “This country is a bunch of pansies!” overused nonsense.

On second thought…that actually fits perfectly. See…”the country is a bunch of pansies,” which puts the blame on the victims of bullying rather than on the bullies themselves. In other words, the bullies are not wrong for bullying…the victims are wrong because they can’t handle it. So, let me go and pick on someone I can easily overpower. And if they cannot handle it, well…shame on entirely them.

Is that how it works?

Women Who Are Sexually Harassed/Assaulted

We hear it every day. A woman is sexually harassed or assaulted and right away, they are grilled. “What were you wearing?/Why were you out by yourself?/How come you didn’t watch your drink?/Why didn’t you tell someone back when it happened?/You shouldn’t have flirted with him./It’s your fault./He wouldn’t do such a thing; you’re lying.” And as far too many women sadly know, the list goes on.

We are talking GROWN MEN here. A grown man chooses to do something to a woman, yet it falls on the woman to be the responsible party? It’s up to the woman to ensure it doesn’t happen to them while at the same time, the man assumes next to no responsibility at all? That is the sort of thing would more so be expected when children are involved. A child may not know better. An adult does. And I don’t believe for one second that a man who commits a sex crime is ignorant of what he’s doing, especially when they would be quick to talk about how much they would kill everyone if it happened to his daughter. That always kills me when I hear it. Men never see it as wrong or have all kinds of justification when they’re doing it themselves or saying this and that. Yet someone does this to their little girls and they lose their minds.

That means you DO have the capacity to understand sex crimes are wrong under ALL circumstances. So you aren’t stupid. You might be a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them. But we already knew this.

Offensiveness

I could do an entire blog post about this one, but I’ll try to keep this one short. Now of course, we all know that the downfall of the entire United States of America rests solely on people who are offended at this or that. Murders, terrorism, sex crimes, nah…it’s people who have the presence of mind to give a damn about what other people say or do that involves them.

None of us have the right to tell other people what they can and can’t be offended by. Period. Even if you could, again, just as with bullying, how is the offended person more wrong than the one who did the offending? I always find it laughable that not only do those who complain about people being offended are most often offended and the quickest, but they would raise all kinds of hell once someone offends them. Again, I know that everyone is tough on social media. But you have no idea why something would offend someone. Just because you don’t agree with it doesn’t make them wrong.

I could go on and on, and I’m sure there are many more to add here, so if you would like, please leave some in the comments. Thanks for reading.

 

 

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