This is my girlfriend, Nellie. Believe it or not, she is the one who suggested I write this blog post about what happened a few days ago when this picture was posted on social media.
First off, when I posted this to my own Facebook page, this is what I posted with it:
“For those who watch her videos, Nellie here shows that she not only talks the talk, but walks the walk too (or runs the run). Getting it in. When you think about quitting, remember why you started. I’m so proud of her.”
Simple enough, right? Well, not long after that was posted, this is a response that was received:
That’s it. Nothing more. Of course, I had to “fish” for more information as this person could not just tell me the point from the beginning, but to summarize, this is a diet she used herself and it appeared she was encouraging Nellie to do the same. However, another friend of mine commented to say that the KetoDiet was NOT a good idea, and then both friends went back and forth for a little bit.
Now this is NOT about whether or not you like or dislike the KetoDiet. Seriously, do not comment with how good or bad it is. That isn’t the point here.
The point is simply this. Nellie isn’t the least bit trying to hide the fact that she is overweight as she’s working out. In fact, when I began taking pictures of her in the gym when she asked me to, I tried to do so in ways that would mask this so as to not embarrass her. Yet, she advised against it when I mentioned this to her.
A few years ago, she lost 76 pounds and documented much of her health journey with others, which became inspiration to a lot of people. She has been up and down since then, but at no point did she just quit. She is not embarrassed about pictures like these as others would be, because she wants people to see ALL parts of her health journey; the good AND the bad…the pretty and what some would feel is the not so pretty aspects of it. She understands that in order to motivate others, they have to see it ALL.
It’s easy to show off a body after all the weight loss has happened, as a lot of others do. But how many are willing to show the progress, which many people seem to ignore? This is not to judge those of you who show “Before” and “After” pics.
But the “During” pics aren’t nearly as common. She is okay with doing those. That is why I am so proud of her.
Now, for my Facebook friend (a fellow woman to obviously my girlfriend) who commented on this picture to suggest a diet of some kind, to say the least, was incredibly rude. Not to mention in what I felt was a very smug way of doing so; initially in a one-word comment. Of course, once I asked “What about it?” (the KetoDiet) the response, along with how this diet help her, included for me to “…research it.”
Now, as you see in my post, nowhere did I suggest that Nellie was on a diet of any kind, or was looking to start one. I already do not care for unsolicited advice, but for another woman to immediately suggest a “diet” as I post a picture of my girlfriend in the gym and working out just baffles me. And to have “fish” for the purpose on top of it; my days are far too busy to have to do that.
It would be a different story if either of us asked for a diet suggestion. (Again, I’m NOT asking whether you agree with dieting or not). Then, go crazy. Even if it wasn’t asked and either of us mentioned how hard it was for her to lose weight with NO mention of the gym, then I would accept that also. But for this to come out right away was not called for.
It would be like if Nellie went onto the pages of all her thin friends and every time a pictures of their bodies were posted, she would leave a one-word comment, like:
“Squats” (implying that they all have flat asses)
Now that wouldn’t be right, correct? So why is it okay here?
Don’t get me wrong; I’m thrilled that my friend lost the weight she did on the KetoDiet. I’m always pleased with progress as weight loss is something many people struggle with.
But this is the sad mindset with a lot of people. Someone is in the gym and working out. And because that person is carrying some extra weight, the response is automatically to suggest a diet? It would be different if Nellie just mentioned going to the gym or spoke about losing weight with not much else. But she is there. In the gym. Working out. Exercising. There is little need to mention a diet as that is happening.
I know, I know…weight loss is more about what a person eats than their level of exercise. But how does anyone know what Nellie eats to know that a “diet” would need to be suggested? Now if she posted pictures every day of eating junk food, again…then I could accept the diet suggestion. But she isn’t exactly eating me out of house and home.
This was actually not the only KetoDiet suggestion she received. A family member of hers did the same on Nellie’s page. It was just baffling to both of us as to why people’s minds go here when a picture of someone again, at the gym is met with a diet suggestion.
Have we become that lazy?
And I haven’t even started on the comment to the right of this picture after my girlfriend posted this to Instagram. No, I didn’t forget.
The initial comment is hers. The second comment is from a jackass.
The third one is my partial response to it, as I lit into him for this garbage.
When someone is up and working and getting better, all the reminders of how often they did NOT succeed are NOT called for. Not to mention, this person is nobody to imply that Nellie “needs to worry about herself” and not try to inspire others. And then to add that he “believes in her 100%?”
FOH with that nonsense. Don’t know what “FOH” means, look it up.
I’ve long ago gotten sick of people putting down those who want to better themselves in ANY way. Especially those who are putting in work at the gym. There are always those people who think they are the “truth” that everyone needs in their lives, and most of the time, that “truth” is damn near ALL negative.
Gym haters are all over the place, whether they are more slick about it like the first person I mentioned here, or a complete fool as the second. Rather than simply encouraging the person who is doing the work, they speak without thinking. In one day, my girlfriend was encouraged to be lazy by one person and to quit by another. Yet these are the same people who would likely claim they are trying to “help” her.
Take it from me…sometimes, the best “help” you can give someone is to keep your damn mouth shut.