So, you’ve been mistreated by men. Understood. The ones you’ve been with have lied, cheated, etc. I get it. You have every right to be angry about that.
But then, a man comes along and treats you well. Doesn’t lie, doesn’t cheat…and if you end up getting together, he treats you like a queen.
Then, you eventually say something like, “THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME THAT ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME.”
That is NOT a compliment.
What you’re saying is this. You developed this stereotype of men based on how a handful of men might have treated you (which is unclear because you may or may not be telling only one side of the story). And then when one comes along and goes against that, you “thank” him for not fitting that stereotype?
If you’re one of those who calls that “mansplaining,” please stand up and go to the kids’ table. You are not ready for an adult discussion. Blind accusations of “mansplaining” do not eliminate the truth.
Here is another question: At what point did that new man make it clear that he would?
When you thank someone for showing they are NOT like others, there was some sort of expectation that he would be. What evidence did you have that that man would be “like other men”?
It’s like this. You were mistreated, yes. By a number of men. Again, understood.
All that considered, how many men have you dealt with that tells you this new man would “be like the rest” to where it surprises you that he was not to the point that you feel you have to “thank” him for it?
Whatever you want to call this, it is simple. You have only dealt with a handful of men. That is a fact.
And we all know that it just sounds better to leave out the “some” in “some men are” and then add the negative behavior. It is much better to be typical or “stronger” than to be honest. Plus, it’s not fun to talk and laugh with your girlfriends, or you are less likely to get those “likes” and shares on social media when you talk about how “some” men behave. No…you have to put us all in a box.
Honestly, you have not dealt with enough men to make any determination to how they all are. Period. And if you have dealt with so many men to where you think you can, I am more curious as to how you continue to end up with men who are like that. Because after a while, you have to look within for the problem and not on the outside. If somehow you constantly end up with men who are not good for you, I’m not necessarily saying the problem is you, but the constant surely is.
This is the kind of thing that would be a huge issue if a man were to do that about women. Of course, we have to treat every woman as an individual. Yet, we can feel “special” because we are “not like other men.” That’s nonsense. Girl power aside, it is not acceptable to put us all in the same group but then turn around and have an issue with men doing the same thing.
Another fact is that “all men are the same” is nothing more than a tired, overused stereotype that allows you to stay in good with your most likely single girlfriends. Again…much easier to be the one who can rub elbows with them. God forbid you be the type who thinks for yourself and wants to treat men as individuals, as, you know, you would like to be treated. The horror. You wouldn’t be “cool” anymore.
Men are not responsible for proving that we are “not like other men.” It is YOUR responsibility to be adult enough to not put us all in a box, especially when you would not want to receive that same treatment based on women from his past. Period.